My love My life
by Kammyh
Summary: UNIT dragged Jack back to London and eventually left him free to go. Without a place to call home and with one of his old devices in his pocket, what will he do with his life? Reminiscences bring him much more than what he had bargained for, but he's never been one to complain. JANTO CoE-fix it
1. Worn-out old phrases

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first. Titles for the fiction and for its chapters are copyright by Abba, namely from the song "My love, my life". This story was _**not**_ inspired by it: I simply had the song stuck in my head for weeks, so I decided to find a use for the lyrics. And I'll plainly ignore that it could easily be Ianto's character song.

**Warnings**: Small references to the series plus a little cameo from DW-The day of the Doctor, but no need to see the movie. Not beta-read and English's not my native language. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Worn-out old phrase**_s_

"No, please, remind me again why you searched for me everywhere in this world and in a few others…"

Jack sighed and skidded tiredly a hand on his face, hoping that the young girl in front of him could just disappear together with her stupid requests and explanations. When he peeked through his fingers though, she was still there, staring awkwardly at him through big black framed eyeglasses.

He noticed her stop smiling embarrassedly at him, use her inhalator, and then resume her sympathetic attitude, made of big afflicted eyes and awkward smiles. She tightened the long and colourful scarf around her neck for what it could have easily been the fifth time in two minutes, and Jack could only hope that it was a nervous tick or some symbolic shield to protect herself, otherwise he would allow himself to suspect that she was hiding something under all that wool.

He simply wasn't in the mood to fight a cute girl so early in the afternoon.

Eventually she coughed politely, trying to clear her voice a little. "We- I mean, _my boss,_ actually, just wanted to know whether you can trace your old Vortex Manipulator or not. We- _I_ am extremely sorry."

"Yeah, ok, but the main point here is: you _had_ my bloody VM! I searched for it everywhere and then it was almost suicidal trying to get another one! I _do_ understand that Torchwood was technically undercover/disappeared/dead/a group of terrorists, but you found me _now_. All the way through the galaxy! Why didn't you do it something like six years ago to give me back _my own_ things!? It was mine! _Mine_! Does not UNIT know this word?"

Now Jack was 100% pouting, but the only effect it had on the young scientist was making her increase her own _Dramatic Intense Stare_ to even with his level of displeasure.

"I'm so sorry, so really sorry, so very very veeery sorry" She insisted. "It's not like I can decide things by myself, and six years ago I wasn't even working here! Anyway, I can see you have a new one now… Isn't it good!? Besides, the one that was here is… well, as I was telling you before is… kind of MIA."

"How _can_ a Vortex Manipulator become MIA?"

"Well, it's MIA the person that took it, this would make the VM itself Missing In Action too. Not his action, but her action… Isn't it still an action it is missing in?"

"You're confusing me now." Jack stated, closing his eyes despairingly and taking a deep breath. The only other person in the whole galaxy that had managed to confuse him like that had been the Doctor himself, and he deeply hoped that the scientist wasn't related to him. For his own well-being.

"I'm sorry" She repeated, looking sincerely regretful even when she had to use her inhalator again. "Anyway, now you're here and… We did everything for nothing. So… Well, since some of the things stored here were yours as well as the Vortex Manipulator, why don't you take a souvenir? We inconvenienced you, it's the least we can do."

"Inconvenienced." Jack snapped, feeling enraged enough to appear half the angry man he was. "UNIT stalked me, killed me, kidnapped me, killed me again and left me in a dark cargo ship until we got back to a planet I wasn't planning to see again any time soon! I would call it a little more than _inconvenienced_!"

Jack didn't add the fact that the dark cargo ship had been the worst part of the kidnapping. After spending two thousand years buried underground, his ability to stand dark confined spaces had diminished dramatically, but he wasn't going to reveal his weak points to UNIT.

"I-" She tried again, but Jack simply glared at the girl, daring her to say again for the one hundredth time how sorry she was. "-regret what they did to you. That's why I think you should take something… We have scavenged a lot from your ruins."

"I. Know." Jack pointed out irritated.

"There must be something you wanted to keep!"

"Yes, my VM. Thank you very much for nothing."

"Other than that! Pleeease, I'm not used being part of these things" She insisted, contorting her cute features in an even cuter pained and subdued expression. Unfortunately, Jack simply wasn't in the mood for that.

"I already got the only thing I wanted beside my VM" He explained a little less angrily, taking out from his pocket a small leather covered book that seemed suspiciously like a diary. "And not thanks to you. If this is everything, I'll be going."

Jack had no time to actually go towards what he hoped to be the exit from the UNIT hideout, or wherever they had brought him this time, that she grasped tightly his arm in a vain attempt to stop him and bring him back towards the Torchwood relics.

"I. Beg. To. Insiiist" She said strained, using all her strength to move Jack, but not managing to budge the grown man a single bit.

Eventually he took pity of her and moved towards the glass showcases on his own accord, intending to just pretend having a quick look at them, say he liked nothing and finally make his glorious exit from there. When he actually reached the area where most of the Torchwood tech was though, he felt a wave of nostalgia overcoming him and, before he could realize it, small tears began forming at the corner of his eyes.

The alien languages translator Suzie had scavenged at some point had been, for no reasons at all, put together with the decorated wooden box they had found in his office after the two whole days none of them remembered. Some showcases further on, there was Owen's alien scanner and the singularity scalpel. Jack found himself smirking at that: it looked like not even UNIT had managed to find a way to use it properly without killing anything and anyone.

Then it was the turn of the blade coming from Beth's cyber-arm: he had kept it more than everything for sentimental reasons, since all of them had eventually grown attached to the woman, so seeing it there inside cold and sterile glass for show like a common museum relic hurt quite a bit.

However a small smile returned on his lips as he saw the next few items. The piece of rock, still neatly archived in its proper plastic bag plus label, was from Gwen's first mission and, not too far from it, there was the Life Knife, now without any glove to be associated to.

No wait, it wasn't without its glove, it was without the Risen Mitten… Ianto had called it that way.

His sweet and funny Ianto, with a knack for cataloguing things and giving catchy names to devices and pets.

Jack walked forward, painfully staring all around himself at the bits of Torchwood life, _his and his friends'_ life and their glorious history, all put there for show: guns, convertors, devices, but also pieces of the rift manipulator and, strangely enough, a big paper box full of their personal belongings. What use had UNIT for their things?

If they had a reason, it was clearly beyond his imagination.

Half burned photos of the team, remains of Gwen's ridiculous pens, a ruined CD, the single ring of their basketball instalment, a partially melted controller for computer games, one of the markers Ianto used in the archives, pieces of keyboards… There was also the old metal box where he was used to keep the photos of his former lovers, but the blast of the explosion had probably busted it open and now all its contents were burned ashes.

Jack had to take a deep breath before tearing his eyes away: that had been his love life for the last century. _Their_ love lives and their friendships, born and killed on the edge of a rift that now didn't exist anymore as if to mock him, since he had took his most treasured boyfriend from him even when it hadn't actually done it.

It had been humans like him to condemn Ianto and to make Jack lose everything he had in one single day. The 456 had propelled things, but they didn't call the shots that destroyed his life, and the rift demanding a sacrifice had come way after death had already separated them.

No matter how much courage he had gathered to get together again with Gwen and Rhys after that, things had never been the same in that sort of pseudo-Torchwood they had patched up overseas and that didn't survive the last ordeal they had been involved in: as far as he knew, the American project had eventually failed. The structure had been closed down forever and the team was either scattered or definitively dead.

Once again only Torchwood Two remained: old and proud and ageless. If Jack liked sheep he would go there just for the sake of saying hello and do something with his eternity, but as things where at the moment, he didn't like sheep and thinking about Torchwood simply tore him apart.

He had to stop this forced full immersion in his lost memories before he lost his mind to it… It was time to try the resourceful escape strategy, and Jack was already turning towards the young researcher to charm his way out of the base, when something among all the Torchwood Three relics caught his eye.

There, as to lure him towards the definitive end of his sanity, there was the ghost machine: the device made to see something happened in the past. Jack stared at it transfixed as an idea began forming in his mind despite his better judgement.

He and his friends had left it alone quite soon and, because of the danger that using the machine could entail, he had also ordered Ianto to put it in the depth of the restricted section of the archives. It _really_ was something too hi-tech for them, and maybe not even his own 51st century could have done much to understand how to work it safely without destroying someone's psyche or connections with other people and the reality itself.

Nevertheless, for him the chance was too good to let it go now. After all, if he was lucky enough, maybe he could… There was only a slight chance, but if he could make it work the way he wanted, he was willing to face the consequences.

Jack had never been one to learn from his own mistakes easily and when he did it, he usually tried to never repeat the same error twice. Still he was immortal and had absolutely nothing left to lose.

"You want that?" The young scientist asked him eventually, bumping into Jack's confused thoughts and feelings with a small and sincere smile.

He stared back at her, thoughtful for just a few moments before nodding. "Yes, please"

The girl's smile widened despite the slight embarrassment showing on her cheeks, and then she proceeded to open the showcase, taking out the ghost machine carefully.

"Here you go." She said, handing him the device, and then pointed towards a small door at the far end of the room. "Exit is that way. You walk until the corridor ends and then turn left. This way you will end up far enough to not come across any of the UNIT staff"

Jack smirked back at her, challengingly raising an eyebrow. "You mean I won't be able to locate where I came out from."

The young girl's smile fell and then she seemed unable to even offer him a tentative one. "I- regret doing this."

"It's fine, it's the same protocol we used at Torchwood: never give the actual entry coordinates to anyone you're suspicious of."

"We do not suspect you!" She protested heatedly, even more embarrassed.

"Yes you do." Jack countered plainly, winking at her. "Thanks for this anyway, and pleased to meet you…?"

"Osgood" She said, shyly offering him her hand to shake while she reassessed her eyeglasses up the bridge of her nose with the other. Jack took it and kissed its back, glancing up at her flirty and making her blush an even deeper shade of red.

"Pleased to meet you Osgood, hope we'll see each other again in a less formal occurrence."

After a last wink in her direction, he finally turned on his heels and disappeared down the corridor she had showed him. Osgood was still staring at the empty air the immortal man had just vacated, when a hand was placed on her shoulder, making her jump slightly.

"Oh, my God!" She cried out, and then turned to look behind herself, only to find a young blond woman staring back at her with a completely unreadable expression on her face.

Osgood relaxed visibly as she realized that the woman was _only_ Kate Steward.

"You shouldn't let yourself be charmed by that man, he's dangerous." Kate reprimanded her.

"I was just impressed!" Osgood protested, tightening her long scarf around her neck once again. "He _can_ make an exit."

"That's what makes him dangerous." She quipped disapprovingly. "So, did he know something?"

"No, but I still can't understand why we're after the lost Vortex Manipulator. It's safe, it's with the Doctor!"

"That's why we're searching it." Kate said, this time a little more condescendingly. "The Doctor would be helpful with our current… accidents. So: find the VM, find the Doctor."

"Still, I don't see any reason to make him take one of the relics at all costs." Osgood insisted, pouting miserably. "I would really hate it if you just made me part of a weird plan to hurt someone. Again."

"It's not to hurt him. You won't have to worry about morals this time. I would just sleep better if he was busy with something basically harmless while we're working. The device will let him mope at his lost squad long enough to not get his nose where it doesn't belong. Something he always does, no matter what his intentions are... We brought him back here, we need to take responsibility."

"That's extremely cynical!" Osgood argued, shocked by her friend's coldness on the matter. "He loved his team… He stared at that box like someone had just killed his puppy! It was horrible to see…"

"I know" Kate's face finally showed deep regret and even some warmth as she tried a small smile for her researcher. "That's why I don't want him trying to play the hero for something we can deal with by ourselves. He's still bleeding."

Osgood relaxed a bit more hearing her words, so Kate eventually lowered her hand to rest it on the middle of her back reassuringly before whispering to her "C'mon, lots of things to do"

**X**

Jack exited the long tunnel and found himself in the middle of a park, Bute Park in London if he wasn't mistaken. He wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now to get away from the bloody city: of all the places on Earth, London was most certainly the one he hated the most.

The main problem was: where to? Last time he was on Earth, he had eventually found out a way to get back the contents of his bank account and, even though the monthly fee for Alice had been still checked out and there was no more income from his Torchwood work –needless to say that he was still officially dead despite his greatest efforts-, the money left was still enough to allow him to travel wherever he wanted for the following 10 years or so without working a single day.

His first thought was going back to Cardiff, because even after all those years that's what he was used to do: live in Cardiff and do his job saving the world. Except he hadn't actually a place to stay in Cardiff nowadays and he wasn't exactly authorised to be the dashing hero of the city.

Hell he didn't even have a job to fill his days anymore.

Going back to his family was out of question, and his former teammates, as his present VM told him, were currently in South Africa. He only hoped that they weren't trying to create another Torchwood there.

There was still Martha, but a sweet smelling card had reached him through the universe by some unknown means, telling him that she was growing her family. As much as the card _demanded_ for him to visit her as soon as possible, he still didn't feel ok with the idea of butting in her life without even a small notice. Especially not for something as petty as not having a place to stay and feeling lonely.

Without even realizing it, he found himself in front of the railway station and, taking it as a sign, he bought himself a ticket to Cardiff, jumping on the first train directed to Wales. Obviously, as Gwen would say, only after he had properly checked whether he had the right currency or not.

The trip wasn't a long one, but, as he walked away from the station to nowhere in particular, he really found himself missing the freedom his SUV was used to give him. Maybe he could stop somewhere and get himself a new car, especially since he would need one if he was truly serious about looking for a flat in Cardiff.

A pained sigh left his lips. If he had been half the decent boyfriend his Ianto needed, maybe he could have asked his sister to keep his flat for him. Unfortunately, not only he had never met Rhiannon personally, but there was a high chance that she wouldn't even know who he was.

Who her brother was.

It was painful to think about such details that had never really crossed his mind before, because even though they had never been much close, Ianto had loved his sister and her family dearly. He was always watching out for them every time the Rift extended a little too near their house and he was always the first one to try and stop the danger whenever it happened.

Jack had to admit that he had really been a major ass ignoring all that on purpose and for reasons that seemed logical back then, but now had showed how they lacked a real purpose.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice how his feet had brought him in front of a Luxury car agency. A beautiful black SUV caught his eye, and he was happy to notice that its price would hardly make Jack Harkness Jr's bank account cry. He quickly filled the needed papers with his new fake identity, quite original if he had to say so himself, and then he was off to the one place he wanted to reach with his new toy car: Rhonald Dale's Plass at Cardiff Bay.

Jack parked the SUV not much far from the Millennium Centre and then slowly walked across the square, desperately hoping to get a blip from the device in his pocket. He remembered soon, though, that as it was the ghost machine was meant to show the future, so he took it out from his pocket and divided the piece of machinery in two. While he was putting aside the half he didn't need, he noticed a small hook under the one that he was holding.

Examining the other bit better, he found out the hole in which it was supposed to fit, so he attentively latched them together. It seemed that whoever had created such an ingenious piece of tech had preventively thought about what to do with the other half when you didn't need it whole.

Maybe the race that had created the device didn't have any pockets at all. The thought made him smile: if he hadn't been so scared by it, he would have noticed that particular before and diligently put everything in his report, adding to it how the ghost machine was most likely _not_ a prototype, but a highly commercialised gadget for everyday commerce.

Somehow he believed that UNIT wouldn't have received that information as well as him, besides, even it they didn't rush to kill the alien race that produced the device as soon as they heard about it, they would have never given it back to him so easily as a farewell gift.

As he proceeded through the Plass, he realised how actually stupid his plan had been. It was true that he felt strongly about most of the events happened in Cardiff with Ianto, but what if he was feeling like that just _now_? He wanted desperately to see the past just because he didn't have Ianto anymore, but what if their emotions back then weren't strong enough to be captured by the hi-tech machinery?

Despite his worries, as soon as Jack reached the protections at the far end of the Plass, the ghost machine illuminated. He stared at it, feeling the compulsion to activate it and yet uncertain whether to follow through or not. His dread somehow held him back at least for a while, and he simply stood there petrified, trying to convince himself that it didn't really matter if the memory wasn't about him and Ianto.

Eventually Jack gave in, pushing the button, and much to his surprise the illusion began.

In front of him there was a younger version of himself, tightening his coat close around his waist. Jack didn't really feel chilly, so he assumed that it must have been a nervous habit or a defensive gesture of some sort… Still he had never actually noticed himself doing that.

Next to his past self there was, luckily enough, his beautiful Ianto, awkwardly dressed in casual clothing. A gloomy aura surrounded him, despite the poker face he was showing to his boss, obviously in order to hide his inner turmoil of emotions. What those emotions were, though, Jack couldn't phantom, and maybe that day he didn't even notice that Ianto was faking it.

His lover dressing casual had rarely happened, still he wasn't able to place the scene playing in front of him. Had the device activated thanks to Ianto's feelings at the time? But then why couldn't he feel his emotions? When the heck was this?

"_I'm sorry"_

Ianto's voice was soft and barely audible, making Jack wonder if at the time he had heard him at all. He could count the times his lover had admitted his own faults on the fingers of one hand, so _why_ couldn't he remember all this? Was it during the suspension after Lisa?

"_I have no idea what you're talking about"_

Jack was all but happy to hear himself voicing his own doubts.

"_I just wanted to hurt them... To hurt you."_

_Jack let out a small nervous laugh and shook his head amazed._

"_I'll have you know that people don't usually ask forgiveness using these words"_

"_Would you rather me lying to you?"_

"_No, of course not." Jack said, staring gravely at Ianto all of sudden. "Be honest 'till the end then: why did you want to hurt us?"_

"_I do recognize that Gwen's idea of a team building chatter was proper" He admitted, still appearing completely emotionless despite the faint red showing on his cheeks. "But I was grieving. I still am. I thought that being mean to you guys might have made it slightly more bearable… But eventually I only added guilty to mournful."_

Oh, Jack realized. This was the aftermath of the cannibals… How could he have forgotten the day?

"_Well, I can say on good authority that you can truthfully be mean. Still, nothing states that you have to enjoy it. Everyone has instincts, even though acting on them doesn't always get you through the predicament you are in the way you want."_

"_Instincts should still have actual reasons behind them" Ianto argued with a deep sigh, letting his mask fall a bit. "What was that for, Jack? Gwen's idea wasn't bad, and I like your Torchwood team. I don't know why it got to me so much."_

"_I think you've answered your own question: because you feel like you don't belong. It's not my Torchwood team, Ianto, it's our team." _

_Ianto simply sighed and hunched his back even more guiltily._

"_Maybe I should say that I'm sorry to the others too, especially to Gwen."_

"_Well, you two really started on the wrong foot. You plainly ignored one another after the first few hours. I really wonder why, I thought you two more than everyone else would connect, maybe over some Welsh feeling of association."_

_Ianto glanced quickly at him, his expression unreadable as smirked at him bitterly._

"_Yeah, I wonder why"_ _He muttered, yet again barely audible._

"_What have you said?"Jack asked, his eyes blinking innocently._

"_I said that I have been in London for a few years, so maybe that makes me a traitor of the Welsh-ness in her eyes."_

Wait. A. Bloody. Minute. What was he seeing? Jack knew that longing gaze, the small hint of betrayal shown in the way Ianto pursed his lips, the tiny little bit of jealousy sparkling in those pale blue eyes… But it was too soon.

Was the ghost machine defective or… Had he completely missed the signs all along?

"_Ianto, if it makes you happier, no matter the reasons and all the good intentions behind it, I still believe she was wrong. That's why I didn't answer. It was not the right moment in general and, aside that, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. Still, if you wanted to share, I wouldn't have denied it."_

_Ianto was genuinely shocked. _

"_Surprise surprise"_ _He deadpanned._

"_Don't humour me, Ianto. I appreciate her intentions. I really do, that's why I hired her. And I know that she has been here for too little time to know about Tosh's thing for Owen, but, as you put it yourself, you had just lost your girlfriend and she should have known better than to pick that topic. I don't fault her much though… She must have been a very sociable person where she worked before, so it's good that she tries to recreate the same connections with us."_

"_I was a very sociable person too." Ianto retorted almost out of the blue._

"_Are you joking?"_

"_A bit." He admitted, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Still, I had nice in-work relationships. I liked being useful, and my co-workers appreciated that, so they always tried to include me whenever they did something. Most of the time I didn't accept, but I liked them thinking about me, and they never stopped appreciating my work."_

"_Strangely I can't picture the workplace you're describing as Torchwood One._"

"_We were a low level team, nothing too glamour. Chances to get promoted happened, but even then we were too below Hartman's right hand men._"

"_You're talking"_ _Jack noted, smiling dazed at his companion. "You should do it more often."_

That comment elicited a frown from Jack, who was on the contrary used to Ianto talking about whatever crossed his mind at the moment. He had no shame admitting that, sometimes, when his lover lost himself in particular difficult and convoluted speeches, he easily drifted away with his mind, too focused on his lips or voice or body to actually pay any attention to it. Still Ianto was happy to at least have a chance to let everything out, and had always accepted his lack of focus with a smile and a smart retort.

"_It's the shock of the cannibals" Ianto quipped embarrassed._

"_Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I thought it was a chance to make you part of the team once again with a bit of camping, it's not like I accepted because I actually believed there would be aliens or Rift activity there."_

"_It didn't scare me, though. Not as much as I thought at least."_

"_Ianto, c'mon, you were crying in panic. Don't deny it. It's ok to be scared."_

"_Well, aside that particular moment." Ianto admitted, shrugging awkwardly. "What really left me shocked at the end of all this was that… I just felt guilty."_

"_About?"_

"_Everything. I realised that I wanted Tosh to live, I wanted Owen and Gwen to live, I wanted you to live… I wanted to live. I thought I hated you, the team and myself, but eventually I discovered that all my hate was not enough to want any of us dead… Wasn't she enough?"_

Jack remembered quite well the look that Ianto was currently giving to his younger self, a look that stayed there impressed on his retinas for quite some time after that encounter. His lover had been completely insecure, baring his soul to his girlfriend's killer for the first time. The first before many other times to come.

And Jack also remembered well his reaction to it, that strange and awkward sensation of being naked and exposed as much as Ianto was, almost as a way to even with Ianto's honesty. It was so vivid in his mind that now, thanks to the ghost machine, he felt it reverberating deep inside his bones like it had happened that very same day.

"_You didn't love her less just because you're too nice to actually wish the death of your friends. Thank you for telling me about this though, this makes me feel way better about giving you a second chance."_

"_Yeah… I never really said thank you for it, but I've never thought it was something to be glad for until today. But it is… And I'm happy that you saw farther than me."_

"_Well, you're welcome"_

There was a long silence and Jack wondered how much longer the vision would be. He feared its end, because he had no idea how he would survive after illusion worn out. Here he could smell Ianto's aftershave even if it mingled with the stench of blood, sweat and dust all around them. If he only could manage to touch him, he would have been the happiest man in the world.

Jack noticed Ianto tentatively touch his younger self's hand and automatically could feel the light pressure of it on his own. It had really been his own feelings to trigger the illusion then. Had he been too focused to his own longing to feel his past self one's or… Was he already feeling this scorching need inside of him at the time?

It was true that now they were separated death, but back then insecurities, lies, secrets, their own work… everything was making things difficult for them, and Jack really needed human contact.

They had barely survived the cannibals after all: Ianto could have been killed and Jack could have lost his whole team. It was obvious that they wished for a way to connect with each other.

"_What about you?"_

"_No philosophy to give to this massacre truth to be told." Jack said, tiredly passing a hand through his hair. "I'm just glad I managed it in time to not lose any of you."_

"_You want…?"Ianto offered, his eyes not completely meeting Jack's._

"_No, Ianto. Thanks for the offer." He answered quickly._

Jack stared intently at Ianto's face, wondering why the hell he had simply focused his gaze stoically in front of himself that day, without taking enough time to stare at his companion properly. Ianto's voce had been even, so he must have simply guessed that he was alright back then, but the broken expression on his face spoke volumes.

"_Oh, well. Yeah, I do understand. Never sleep with the traitor."_

"_I laid some of my worst enemies, I wouldn't make that a rule. You know, another day I might take up your offer, just not right now. Fooling around a bit with you, like we were used to before the incident with Lisa, would really be what I need now… But it would be wrong."_

_Jack glanced avidly at Ianto, making the younger man blush embarrassed, hiding the sad expression he had been wearing until that moment. _

"_I- I'm not following."_

"_I still like you and I still want to have you… Or you to have me, that's not exactly my point. Anyway, not like this."_

"_I thought… that we were just licking each other's wounds."_

"_Oh, yeah, we are. But there's still a small line to cross between comfort sex and taking advantage of someone suffering. You get out of this, take your time and do everything you need on your own terms. While you're at it, work over that guilt you're feeling. When you're ready, I'll be there."_

"_Wait, you want me to make the first move with you?" Ianto asked astonished._

"_Yeah, when you're ready. And I want to hear a decent pick-up line, not an over-abused one. Seduce me properly, please."_

_They ended up laughing together at Jack's joke, both of them showing a bit of embarrassment at stating words that Ianto had never wanted to admit even to himself._

"_Thanks."_

"_Ianto, one more thing before I bring you home."_ _Jack said as soon as Ianto tried to straighten up to go towards the parking lots._

"_Know that if we end up lovers again, I won't make it a secret anymore. Not to the team at least. I would out you as soon as I can, and way more deliberately than a few flirts in the open like we were used to."_

"_And how would that happen?"_

"_You will know…"_

His last words disappeared into nothingness, as much as Ianto and the whole scenery surrounding them in the past as Jack were forcefully brought back to his reality. Still he could swear that it wasn't dread in Ianto's eyes in the moment he had told him about the outing to the team.

Inexplicably, it was hope.

**T.B.C.**


	2. Like an image passing by

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first. Titles for the fiction and for its chapters are copyright by Abba, namely from the song "My love, my life".

**Warnings**: Small references to the series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Like an image passing by**

It took some time to Jack before he could get used again to the cruel reality he lived in. A reality where there was no Ianto, no promises of future relationships and no Torchwood, but there were only some curious people staring worriedly at him. The captain dismissed them all with a flirty smile and a wink, and then he disappeared as quickly as he could towards his new car.

As soon as he was safe behind the dark screened windows, Jack finally allowed himself to drown in his own reflection, to finally see all the sadness he was feeling inside as stared empty minded at the glass panel.

The vision about the cannibals wasn't what he had hoped for when he had decided to use the ghost machine, but at least he had seen Ianto once again. The corner of his lips lifted just a little at the thought and his eyes softened.

He _was_ cute.

More than cute actually: drop dead gorgeous was a better definition of him.

Other than that, the apparition had also made him realize that Ianto's feelings didn't develop with time like he had initially guessed. Maybe both of them had noticed them too late, but something deeper than simple attraction was apparently there since the very beginning.

Had Jack seen that little something and filed the information away, not knowing what to think about it? Had he backed away from it, scared, and convinced himself that there was nothing there?

Too many years had passed and he honestly didn't remember, but now, thanks to the alien technology, he realized that he had the chance to see things for what they really were: he could take his whole life and search for what he had missed along the way. The thought made him shiver.

What had crossed Ianto's mind during the first part of their relationship had been a mystery to him, until Jack had gotten the chance to read his diary after the two days they had forgotten for reasons unknown.

Ianto had gotten quite angry at the time: he had patiently waited until they were alone, and then had lashed out on him, showing how much he was displeased by Jack's invasion of his privacy. Jack had to work hard to make it up to him after that, but it couldn't deny that reading the diary had helped quite a bit.

Now that he had read the diary from the beginning to the end so many times that he had almost learned it by heart, there were serious chances that his lover would never forgive him again if he were to know.

Back then, a date at one circus show he had miraculously found '_for one night and one night only_', followed by dinner at the most expensive Italian restaurant in town and a chocolate body paint sex session afterwards, had worked perfectly.

The body paint had actually been some work of genius if he were to say so himself… God, what he would do to see that again. Maybe he could even try to have a wank or two at the scene despite the ghost machine working only with both hands on it.

Unfortunately that particular memory, if it really was strong enough to have enough residual energy still lingering, could be triggered only in Ianto's old apartment.

That thought brought him back to more pressing matters, such as finding himself a place to sleep and something to eat.

The second one was easily solved as Jack remembered that Jubilee Pizza was not far from there. After wasting some time watching the news on the telly inside the shop -too many earthquakes nowadays- he took his Meat Feast back to his car, finished half of it, and stuck the rest on the passenger's seat for the next day. Since it was already quite late, he moved to the back seat and decided to take a nap right there. Maybe a few hours of sleep would do him well despite the dire accommodations.

As it turned out, the few hours of sleep did him more than good, as his own brain had attentively revived for him that very night with the chocolate body paint, in a so detailed way that Jack had actually wondered if the dream hadn't been influenced by the alien technology in his possession.

Looking down at himself, Jack realised that sleeping in the car, if such '_situations_' were to happen again, wasn't going to work out well, so he decided to try and have a serious look at the neighbourhood to find an apartment to buy. Or rent, since he still wasn't sure of what to do with Cardiff and his life in general.

Jack put the car back on the road and after some time of simple wandering about he found himself in the area where Ianto was used to live. He wondered for a while whether having a look at the apartment or not, but eventually he indulged his curiosity and quickly parked the SUV, his heart thumping in his chest at the simple thought of seeing what he had been close to call _their_ flat.

As soon as he managed to convince an old lady to grant him access, he leaped up the stairs and almost felt light headed just seeing the plain surface of the apartment's door. After the maddening experience with the ghost machine, seeing it again made him feel almost certain that if he knocked on the door, his Welshman would open it with the usual smart smile he had usually plastered on his face.

However that was a time only the alien device could reach. Now there wasn't even a name on the door bell. As a second though, the absence of a name on the tag was quite strange, since he was fairly certain that the apartment had been sold soon after Ianto's death.

As if on cue, the answer to his questions came running towards him.

"You came to see the flat, didn't you? Was it the estate agent?"

Jack stared speechless at the short, chubby and sweat-drenched man in front of him. His confusion must have shown on his face, since the man pouted at him sadly. "Not for the flat then?"

"You are… the owner?" Jack managed to say, his voice desperately trying to not show his surprise.

"Yeah, bad choice I did back then." The man answered friendly, taking out a handkerchief to mop up the sweat behind his neck. "Wanted to do something nice for my wife, but as I showed her the house contract she handed me one for divorce. No need to change my residence then."

Jack patted him politely on the shoulder. "I'm sorry"

"Don't be. My fault. I lost too much time before acknowledging her and her needs. She never asked for much, she only wanted a nice gesture once in a while... And I missed many chances."

The feeling of bonding with the small man grew stronger as those words brought harshly Jack back to his past and his guilt. Ianto hadn't divorced him –he had never had the guts to ask him to marry him in the first place- but had left him nonetheless. Before he could even say how much he had loved him.

"I wanted to resell it again before the prices changed, you know" The tired man continued, not noticing Jack's sad expression. "But after some time the earthquake happened and no one ever dared to buy it after that."

"Something happened to the flat?" Jack asked, sounding more worried than he was supposed to be and gaining a risen eyebrow for it from his companion.

Since the man had confirmed that no one occupied the flat since Ianto was gone, Jack had cultivated the vain hope that it was still like he had known it. It would have been nice losing himself again in his memories without even the need of the ghost machine.

"Oh no! That's the problem! On the contrary, all the nearby apartments had minor damages… But this one remained completely untouched. Not a crack, not a single glass broken."

Jack crooked an eyebrow, as his mind flew back to six years before. They had not left any alien tech inside, didn't they? Besides, what tech had they owned that could protect an apartment?

Well then, there was only one way to know.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to make an offer for it" Jack said smiling, and the little man stared shocked back at him. "A friend of mine lived here, so, since I already know the place and I need a flat, I want to buy it for myself."

As soon as the man got over his initial surprise, he took Jack's hand in a strong and sweaty grasp and literally dragged him to the nearest estate agency. In less than two hours, Jack was the proud owner of a modern style flat in Cardiff Bay and, as soon as he got the keys, he literally couldn't wait before going inside.

Everything there was familiar. Even though not many of Ianto's belongings were still around, he could easily fill the gaps with his memory. He entered the bedroom and his lips relaxed in a big smile: the sheets on the bed were still the deep red ones he had brought for Ianto one day he was bored and had nothing to do. He could easily picture his lover completely naked over those sheets like the man was in front of him that very same moment… Mouth-watering wasn't nearly enough to describe the memory.

Jack stared down at ghost machine and his mood faltered a bit as he noticed that it didn't activate. However, he decided that, since they had never taken timing into consideration, he could change room and hope for better results later.

He wandered inside the kitchen, and sniggered amused at Ianto's coffee machine: now it screamed old, but at the time it had been the best their money could buy. Jack wasted a good half an hour to make it work, but eventually he managed to produce something akin to coffee, using the few packets of Ianto's favourite blend that had been left on the shelves.

However, as he was going back to the living room, the ghost machine lightened up and Jack stared at it, curious as well as scared about what the next show was going to be about. He cautiously set the cup of coffee on the table and took a big breath as he held the alien device properly in his hands.

There was no real fight between his conflicting emotions, because by now the rational part of his mind had already given in.

As soon as Jack clicked the big button on the top, the illusion started.

Jack saw himself and Ianto sitting on the pavement, naked, almost facing one another, lost in one of his favourite games: the ones in which he made up the weirdest excuses to get his lover naked and eventually the Welshman followed through. At the moment Ianto was wanking desperately, his eyes shut close and the knock of his finger in his mouth to prevent himself from crying out aloud.

"_Jack…"_ _Ianto moaned._ "_Please, this is stupid… I want to look at you, I just can't do it this way…_"

"_No way… This is a scientific experiment, I already told you…"_

"_I don't care about science at the moment"_

"_Fine with me, just keep doing it… My god, Ian, your legs are spread open just fine…"_

_Ianto's eyes shot open at Jack's breathy remark, and he flushed dark red, embarrassment mixing with arousal at the lewd scene in front of him. _

"_You're getting off on me you bloody wanker! Oh… my god…"_

_The Welshman's whole frame trembled slightly and despite Jack's admonishments, he couldn't tear his eyes off his lover, the whole situation arousing him more than he wanted to admit. _

Jack had to admit to be glad that he had gotten the chance to get to see this memory properly, since back then he had been too lost in his own pleasure to appreciate the display as he should have. Such a terrible misjudgement.

"_Don't think about what I'm doing or we'll have to change category… You will have to do this again… You were actually doing fine until now… More than fine…"_

"_But… I want… I want you…" _

_Ianto put the hand he was using to shut himself to better use and felt too close to the edge to care about Jack's petty experiments. His cheeks were pink from arousal, utter embarrassment and maybe a little bit of anger himself for being turned on by his lover masturbating while he watched him doing himself._

_It didn't take Ianto too much before he came with Jack's name on his lips and let himself fall backwards on the chill floor, desperate to catch his breath before he had to face his shame. However, soon he noticed Jack's whimpers next to him and moved just enough to close his hand around him. Already too far gone, it didn't take much to Ianto to bring Jack to completion, dotting his own chest with semi-transparent pearls and making himself look like he had just stepped out from a very cheap porn video._

The rush of exertion and the subsequent relaxation crossed quickly Jack's body, along with an undercurrent admiration for Ianto's debauched attire that could have been from the past as well as the present. It wasn't everyday that the Welshman put himself in openly seductive positions, so, whenever it happened, Jack had always taken his time to admire him.

_Ianto wiped his sticky hands on his already marred chest and relaxed on the floor, followed soon by Jack, who took the chance to nestle next to him and kiss lovingly his cheek._

"_You're gorgeous… And this was highly erotic…"_

"_Glad you liked it, sir"_ _Ianto deadpanned, his frown looking more like a tired smile._ _"Could you take your bloody measurements now, so we can move to the bed? I'd like a nap before taking my revenge on you."_

Jack's grin could match his past self one as they both stared enthusiastically at Ianto. One of them just _suspected_ how intense his revenge would be, the other basked in the knowledge of how it _had_ actually as intense as Ianto had warned.

_Eventually Jack took from the nearest table a measuring tape and moved next to Ianto's legs, pretending a very professional attitude. _

Now that he had a chance to see his charade from an outer point of view, Jack had to admit how ridiculous he looked. Even his always collected Ianto, from his equally debauched position, could hardly pretend he wasn't giggling at his actions.

"_I won, you own me dinner"_ _Jack said quickly after a couple of minutes of work between Ianto's legs. As soon as he proclaimed himself winner, he took care to throw away the measuring tape the furthest possible._

"_You're lying! I want to see it by myself!"_

"_You don't believe me!?"_

"_With games? Hell no! You're a hard-core cheater, by all means."_

"_You hate so much the idea of buying me dinner?"_

_Ianto stared at Jack for a long time, his face expressionless._

"_Dinner is not the point, the point is winning."_

"_You will have other chances to win: longest shot when thinking about me, longest shot when I am the one getting you off, longest dic-"_

"_Really, Jack?" Ianto cut him off, guessing what it was about to come. "Competition on who has it longer? What's next, a pissing contest? I'll tell you, I'm not one for water play."_

"_Nah, that wouldn't require you getting all hot and bothered for me."_

_Ianto rolled his eyes, but his lips were betraying the hint of a smile._

"_Can you only think about sex?"_

"_Of course not! And to prove it to you, now close your eyes."_

"_Jack, please, if you're trying to feed me my own c-"_

"_C'mon we're out of the sex games material, you should trust me."_

Jack watched his past self waiting for Ianto to nod dubiously and then disappear inside the bedroom. What had he planned again? Besides, he had to admit that this was quite a nice memory, but he couldn't really find a reason why the ghost machine deemed it so full of high emo- As he saw his past self coming back with a box of chocolate though, it was clear to him why the device had chosen that event for him.

_Jack knelt down in front of Ianto, attentively took out one pink clad chocolate and unwrapped it. He licked one side of it just enough to melt it slightly, so that he could trace Ianto's lower lip with it like it was lip-gloss. After the first moment of surprise, Ianto licked it, tasting with surprise the slightly fruity flavour of it._

_Encouraged by his lover's reaction, Jack smeared more chocolate on his lips and, before Ianto could react, he licked them clean himself, taking his chance to kiss him deeply. As soon as they parted, Ianto opened his eyes and Jack fed him the whole chocolate._

Jack's heart jumped in his chest as he watched Ianto widening his eyes in surprise when he savoured the cherry and liquor filling of the chocolate. He could feel his own nervousness as he waited for Ianto's verdict.

"_Woah, this is good for a chocolate."_

"_I ordered them from Italy." Jack explained with relief. "I've got also some others of the same brand. Coffee, coconut, nuts... I have also another couple of boxes with a different selection in case you didn't like any of these."_

"_Wait, from Italy? Why? We've good chocolate in Wales too."_

"_I wanted these in particular because of their name actually." Jack admitted softly, his voice unsure as he lowered his head. "Even though it's extremely cheesy now that I think about it." _

Jack felt the wave of embarrassment from his past self, but just seeing the scene again would have been enough to make his feel again like that. Panic, fear of rejection, his heart racing… He remembered every detail, and more than once his heart had bleed thinking about what had been the one time he had come near to tell Ianto how he loved him. The ghost machine made it more vivid and real, but it didn't really tell Jack more than what he already knew.

_Ianto's eyes were glued on him, regarding him innocently despite the hell they were used to and the pornographic act happened only a few moments before._

"_So?"_ _Ianto murmured, his blue orbs lowering a bit to stare at his lover's lips._ _"What's the name?"_

_Jack closed the small space between their lips and breathed a tentative "Mon Cherie", before kissing him lovingly, his hands wandering over Ianto's shoulders to reassure him of his place in his life, in his world.._.

…until slowly the scene faded into nothingness, leaving Jack once again alone in the middle of an empty room, the warm reassurance his own feelings for Ianto had given him severed by the deactivation of the alien device.

Leaving him once again cold.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Mon Cherie, along with Baci (kisses), are typical lovers' chocolates in Italy. Having Jack been married with an Italian woman I thought that he wanting to use them for romance made sense.


	3. Maybe Tonight

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first. Titles for the fiction and for its chapters are copyright by Abba, namely from the song "My love, my life".

**Warnings**: Small references to the series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Maybe tonight**

Jack could feel the consequences of his trips to the past running though his body, the reasons why he had banned everyone from using the ghost machine.

There was the same desperation that both Owen and Sean 'Bernie' Harris had fell in when they had used the alien device, sheer anxiety building up inside him, some slight tension stretching his muscles, the feeling of his already fragile nerves ready to break, of his brain focused only on where and how he could find another spot to keep seeing what he had lost.

He didn't need to be a doctor to recognize the signs of addiction, and yet again he had been fully conscious of it right from the beginning along with what such a machine could to a human mind: the risk of getting hooked to a particular apparition, the shock of perceiving someone else's feelings as your own or, as it had happened to him, perceive his own emotions without the painful weight of grieving that his mind now associated to that memory.

Jack had known this was going to happen from the first moment, especially considering how bad he had wanted to see the past, still he didn't regret a single moment of those apparitions.

Everything else already didn't matter anymore.

What was worse was that, even without this particular state of mind, the device was bound to destroy the user's connection with reality, so his particular situation had only speed up the process. Still now he had gone down the rabbit hole and he couldn't find a real way to control himself: he wanted to do it again, he _needed_ to do it again. Again and again, because even if after he felt worse, for the brief moment in which he was seeing the ghosts of his past he was happy. After six years he could finally feel happy and whole again.

He had seen grief, comradeship, affection… But it wasn't enough. He wanted pain. And pleasure and love. And courage and devotion and tears and anger and sweetness and blood…

And there must have been something worth of his time inside the bloody bedroom.

Jack rushed towards the room, breaking open the door with an energy he didn't know he possessed, hands trembling on the handle and eyes wide as he stared at the too empty room, and…

He needed to take a moment to breathe.

Jack let himself fall boneless in a corner of the room and found there a small old radio. He switched it on and tried to let the usual relentless babbling about the end of the world tuning out his frenzied thoughts.

It would have actually been refreshing if he hadn't been in such a state: for once he didn't have to bother with the worldwide fears that periodically crossed the globe and, more important than that, he didn't need to feel guilty about them spreading around like tiny wires from his current location.

Unfortunately, even the old '_try and guess what could have made people think this is the end of the world again_' was a game that couldn't put his thoughts and feelings in stand-by for too long.

His eyes wandered around the room, and he didn't see the plain walls and the emptied closets, but Ianto's beloved posters and his suits, lying scattered on every flat surface whenever they went out for a date and his lover decided that he wanted to wear _one_ specific suit. Generally the one that was hidden under everything else.

Smirking at the memory, Jack wandered towards the bed like a drunk, his hands tightening around the ghost machine as he hoped for a beep. When the sound actually echoed in the room though, he had no actual chance to press the button.

The earth shook beneath his feet and made him fall ungraciously on his butt, the device still secured in his hand. There was no place under where he could find shelter from the dangers of the earthquake, and the weaves were too strong, making him loose repetitively his balance every time he tried to move away.

Only to make the matters worse, the compulsion to use the ghost machine only continued and intensified his already addicted impulse to give in despite the unsafe situation he was in.

Much to his horror, after a particular painful fall, he noticed his fingers pressing down the button of the alien device inadvertently and soon his surroundings began to blurry around him, making past and present a complete mess of colours and sounds.

Jack could hear cries and shrills as two figures he couldn't recognize fought near the edge of the bed, as well as the loud noise of things shaking and chairs collapsing around him. Every visual detail was unclear, like watching a movie during a very bad thunderstorm, only this time shreds of present broke right through the past apparition, mixing themselves together in the weirdest places.

As the earthquake seemed to reach its peak, a golden light irrupted from the windows at his side, hitting Jack like a high speed train and throwing him half across the room.

The ghost machine escaped his fingers and fell on the floor some feet away from him, shining brightly in warm yellow dust, while all around Jack the illusion faded along with the violence of the quake. As he tried to focus on the reality around him, something heavy fell over his hunched figure, crushing him painfully.

"Ouch!" Jack cried in pain. Before long, he was certain that the weight had moved and had become only a soothing presence hovering above him.

He tentatively looked above himself, and almost immediately his eyes widened in disbelief.

"Ian-to?"

There was anger in Ianto's eyes, and Jack automatically felt the impulse to say he was sorry for reading his diary, before reason could put itself back to work and he realized that Ianto wasn't supposed to be there as much as to care about him peeping in his written life. However, he the anger slowly turned into worry and a warm hand reached out for him to stroke his hair caringly.

"Time out for the moment." Ianto murmured. "How are you? You look shaken."

"Time… out?" Jack repeated, still lost in a confused daze.

"Did you hit your head? I can call someone…"

Ianto moved to take Jack safely in his arms and checked his head for damages, sending the captain's senses into frenzy. The still familiar scent of Ianto's aftershave filled his nostrils and eventually shook Jack out of his reverie. He laid tentatively a hand on his lover's tight and his heart stopped in his chest feeling it real and solid under his touch.

Just to be sure, Jack deepened the pressure a bit and stroke the whole length of Ianto's tight up to his hips, feeling the tiny bit of love handles soft under his touch, until his hand was slapped away abruptly.

"You're still not forgiven" Ianto snapped not as rudely as he wanted, but, before he could react to what was happening, Jack was already over him, kissing him hard and freezing him in a firm embrace.

Before Ianto could answer the kiss though, Jack broke it and simply pressed adoringly his cheek against his lover's, tightening his hold around his waist even more.

"You're real! Oh my God, I can't believe you're real!"

Ianto's shocked stare turned into a very dubious one as he slowly tried to put some distance between himself and his captain.

"Jack, c'mon, of course I'm real."

"No, you don't understand" Jack protested, squeezing his lover even more despite Ianto's efforts to breathe. "You've been dead so many years"

"Jack, this is ridiculous." Ianto reasoned condescendingly, eventually accepting the literally breathtaking embrace. "I'm not sleeping beauty."

"You aren't" Jack answered automatically before a thought crossed his mind and he actually put some distance between himself and Ianto to stare at him. "But you not being sleeping beauty aside, I have no idea of what just happened"

"One of your bloody ex happened!" Ianto snapped at him, his angry glare back on Jack. "And then you come here, stinking of him… You should at least show me enough respect and take a shower!"

Oh, that's why the blurry fight seemed oddly familiar.

"That's not what happened. Not here at least." Jack said, until the details of the fight came fully back to his mind. "And wait, it didn't happen that way back then either! He threw himself at me and I run for it! I thought he might try something with you, so I came back home as soon as I could. I did nothing at the time and you can't fault me for protecting you!"

Ianto's eyebrow rose suspiciously. "First of all, this was not what you were saying two minutes ago, and secondly... Why are you talking about it like it was deep in the past?"

"Because it _is_ deep in the past, Ianto. I have no idea how you got here, but you forgave me pretty quickly after that day, because before the end of the day he took you as a hostage and told you the truth. After sending him back where he came from, we had two of the greatest weeks I can remember: I brought you to that show you wanted to see at the theatre, we had dinner at the French restaurant near the Memorial, and… Oh, I even managed to give you a full blowjob at the cinema."

Ianto blushed deeply and smiled embarrassedly at him. "Sounds nice. Everything in two weeks? Was the rift quiet?"

"Yeah." Jack's smile died on his lips, as he looked away, everywhere but in Ianto's eyes. "Then you died and left me alone."

Ianto looked around himself, noticing how everything was actually slightly different in what he could still recognise as his own bedroom, so for lack of other explanation he decided to play along with Jack, at least for the moment.

"How did it happen?" He asked, his voice barely audible.

"Doesn't matter" Jack retorted, tugging his lover back in his arms and leaving a kiss at the top of his head. "I missed you and I won't let you get away from me again. I love you too much."

Ianto froze in Jack's arms at his words, and hastily freed himself to stare shocked at him. "You what!?"

Jack worried gaze was on his lover, as he tried to figure out what he could have said to shook him that much.

"I… love you?" He guessed eventually, mentally slapping himself realizing he still hadn't told him that at that point in time. Well, actually he never had "I love you Ianto Jones, I've loved you for quite some time in your past already."

"Was this… Was this something we were doing when I died? You telling me you loved me."

"I wanted to, but I never found the courage to put it in words." Jack admitted ashamed, making Ianto's anger grow.

"Then why do you think you can tell me something like that… like this!"

The outburst didn't take Jack by surprise, because he knew the reasons behind Ianto's panic, the reasons why the Welshman had waited until he was about to die before confessing to him: Ianto didn't know how to live with his love for Jack out in the open. Too many things would change and he was scared of that. Maybe he had even thought that if Jack ever admitted to love him back, their relationship would have only led him to fall in love so deeply that there would be no turning back.

After what had happened with Lisa, Jack knew Ianto would have never wanted it again. Still, he _really_ loved him, and he knew that the Welshman loved him back too.

"Ianto… You told me you loved me when you were dying. It took me many months, but eventually I managed to come to terms with my egoism. Eventually I said it to you and-"

"You said it to my grave, you mean."

"This isn't the only time I managed to see you after you died" Jack admitted shrugging. "But it didn't last. There were conditions, and eventually you played the hero, all the way through the end of your second chance at life."

"You're talking like you didn't want me to play the hero…" Ianto noticed uncertain.

"Ianto, you said I was a monster once, well, you were right. I don't fucking care about Earth, or anything else for that matter, if I can't have you!"

"You don't mean it." Ianto's statement wasn't made to accept retorts, but it was more out of Ianto's determination than because any of them believed Jack to be wrong.

"Now tell me, since you've already done it all, don't I get a chance to say something in the matter?"

"It's not it Ianto." Jack told him softly, taking Ianto's hand in his. "I just can't hold it back anymore. Me loving you had more than six years to sink in. It's a part of me now, the same part that had always kept you close to my heart and that was going to hold you there for the next ten thousand years."

"Still… What do you want me to say?" Ianto's angers deflated, leaving Jack notice the resignation behind what he realised that had just been one of his lover's masks. "Don't I need to get back to my time? The same time where you don't have the guts to confront me on our feelings for each other?"

Jack's eyes wandered a bit around himself as he searched for answers in and outside his mind, and then he jumped on his feet, eventually taking a glance outside the window.

"I… I remember you dying, the weeks before it... And the world seems unchanged."

"What do you mean?" Ianto asked Jack, joining him in front of the window and taking in the outlines of a city that was quite different from what he was used to.

Jack held Ianto by his waist and buried his nose between his shoulder and neck inhaling deeply.

"You are you, I'm certain of it. However the device was never meant to make things cross their timeline. I'm still quite sure that it's only a quantum transducer."

"What are you talking about?" Ianto asked, the definition ringing a bell even though he couldn't quite place it.

"The hub exploded and we lost everything, nevertheless yesterday UNIT gave me back the ghost machine."

"The ghost machine!? How can I be here because of it?"

"No idea at all… There was an earthquake and then golden light"

"The rift?"

"The rift closed up." Jack snapped curtly, tightening his hold on Ianto.

"Wait" Ianto said, adding quickly the data together in his mind. "Then what are you doing for a living? Where's Gwen?"

"I just came back from space travel. Gwen and Rhys are currently in Africa, but I don't know their whereabouts"

"This is… hard to believe." Ianto concluded with a sigh, leaning on Jack and holding him tightly.

"I lost everything Ianto… Please don't leave me again. I'm sorry..."

"But paradoxes-"

"Nothing is happening. Trust me, you are not from the past, you're for the present. Just stay with me."

"Jack" Ianto argued, trying to keep his voice soft despite the uncertainties running through his mind. "We need answers."

"Answers?"

"What am I if I'm not past Ianto?"

"I don't really care as long are you're my Ianto."

"Jack" Ianto reprimanded him slightly.

"Ok, we'll do something. We'll…" Jack quickly crossed out potential solution that would have required their hub to work out until a practical solution came to his mind. "We'll meet Martha! She's back in London now."

"Good"

"Ianto?" Jack stared back at his lover uncertain and not sure about what to think or what he wanted to say. "I- I was thinking… well, it doesn't really matter to me if you're a copy or something else… As long as you're Ianto, you know, is fine."

"Jack? Are you trying to tell me something? This sounds even weirder than the time you asked me out on our first date."

"Well, it's just…" Ianto hadn't really shot his words too far from the actual target, still for Jack was difficult put things into words. "I love you and you love me, so… I would like for us to be together, like… Well, like a couple."

Ianto sighed seeing the always flirty and sure Jack reduce once again to stuttering when he was saying something that mattered to him, but couldn't really hide how much it pleased him that Jack wanted for them to be a real item. He never thought to live until the day the captain would finally give up… well, maybe he actually didn't.

"What if I'm a horrible creation meant to disappear in a short while?"

"I lost too much time wondering about '_what ifs_'. Even if _us_ will be for a single moment, even if it was until tonight, I want to make the best out of it."

Ianto couldn't stop himself from smiling as he stared at the man he never thought he could call _his_ telling him things he hadn't even dared to dream about. He wanted to make sense win, but whenever Jack stared at him honestly like that, there wasn't much he could do to resist his charm.

"You do realise that's what I've always wanted..."

"Yeah. I love you Ianto Jones." Jack leaned towards his lover, but stopped almost immediately, unsure about what to do. Six years had passed after all.

Ianto smirked at him and put some distance between them. "You're too tense, Jack. What about a game?"

"Ianto I-"

"Naked hide and seek still your favourite?"

"I'm not really in the mood"

"Then let me do everything and close your eyes. Don't open them."

Jack offered him a little smile, quite annoyed at the abrupt change of topic. All of sudden, he felt a kiss at the nape of his neck, followed by Ianto's soft and seductive voice. "Well then, where am I?"

"Behind me" He answered, choking a laugh.

He heard a soft rustling, like someone was getting rid of his jacket, and then silence once again. Ianto left another kiss on his cheek, before he asked him again where he was.

"You're in front of me"

"Right again" Ianto said, and for the second time Jack heard the sound of clothes being removed. "Time to up the ante"

"I like this strip-kiss and tell"

Ianto simply chuckled, and Jack felt another kiss, this time on his neck. "Where am I?"

Jack felt a bit disorientated… The kiss felt as it had been given from behind, but the voice didn't quite match the direction. "Uhm… At my side?"

"Boo, I'm right behind you, your turn to strip, and remember that I said _naked_-hide and seek, so eventually it would come to that."

Now that Ianto was speaking aloud Jack had to admit that his voice really came from behind him. Soon he felt Ianto's deft fingers undo his braces and then work him out of his shirt.

After some more silence another kiss was placed on his heating skin and the game went on until both of them were completely naked and giggling at Ianto's innovative places in which kiss Jack. The continuous kissing-guessing-penitence routine, had drastically lightened up the mood, and, when they couldn't undress anymore, Ianto resorted to actual groping.

It had been years since Jack had felt so relaxed and happy, it had been years since Jack had felt home. The only thing he regretted was that during the whole game he hadn't gotten a single kiss on the lips. As if he had been reading his mind, Ianto poked his nose, and finally told him to open his eyes.

"Are you alright now?"

"Yeah, way more relaxed…" His smile got even bigger as Ianto's eyes twinkled in mischief. "I feel like some weight has been taken away from me"

Ianto took in appreciatively Jack's naked form. "Oh, yeah. I can see that. Clothes are just annoying weight, I completely agree with you."

"You think we could take advantage of this?" Jack asked, admiring Ianto's unclothed body as well and letting his hand trail the male curves of Ianto's side.

"Yeah, I guess we could, but first…"

Jack followed Ianto with his eyes as he reached up to cup his face between his hands and stare at him deeply in the eyes.

"I love you too, Jack." He murmured, and finally crossed the few inches left between their lips.

After the first moments of shock, Jack relaxed and closed his eyes, savouring something that Fate, in the form of addicted aliens and English Government, had took away from him way too soon. He thought it would have been strange, that the memory of kissing Ianto's already unmoving lips for the last time would have haunted him, but it looked like his mind was already ahead of him, already back in that time frame when this was normal and nothing else mattered.

It might be only for a small moment in time, only for a day, only until the night fell around them, but Jack really wanted to make the best out of it, and, if possible, keep Ianto and himself in such a time frame.

Even if it was only for a small moment in time, he could always hope for it to last long enough.


	4. In the mirror of your eyes

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first. Titles for the fiction and for its chapters are copyright by Abba, namely from the song "My love, my life".

**Warnings**: Small references to the series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**In the mirror of your eyes**

Ianto took his time caressing the lines of Jack's jaw, taking care to not wake him up: he had to admit that his lover really _did_ look aged.

After discovering about his leader's immortality and after his immediate departure, he had done some research about him inside the mountain that was the classified information section. Needless to say that Jack was the only one supposed to know how to get though the codes, but truth was that Ianto had discovered and decrypted his notebook before the end of his first day in Torchwood.

He would have never guessed how many interesting things were hidden there about their captain, so it was an understatement how much he got sucked in by those before they were called for that stupid trip to the bloody Himalayas.

When he had been discovered by his co-workers, it had been quite humiliating to endure their pitiful stares, so eventually he had told them that he just wanted to reassure himself he wasn't shagging an alien, in case he had to update his curriculum. The way Toshiko had looked at him after that little outburst was enough to make him feel guilty for a long time, but at least Gwen and Owen had stopped asking.

What Ianto really wanted to check, though, was since when this immortality thing had begun. It was an old weak point of him, but if there was any chance that he could find a cure for something so unreasonable, he had to put everything he had in it.

Unfortunately he found nothing, and once again all his smart brain wasn't enough to save the person he loved, making him wonder why he had joined Torchwood in the first place if he couldn't help anyone.

He found a decent amount of photos though, all stretching through a century and a half, and in no one of them Jack seemed more than a couple of years younger than the day he had met him.

That's why the six years gap Jack was talking about didn't make much sense, considering that he seemed at least ten years older. Ianto would be hard pressed to believe it if they were talking about a normal human being, but with someone immortal as Jack was it was quite hard to believe.

Now that he was sleeping peacefully though, he had to admit that many of his wrinkles had disappeared, making him look way more younger than he appeared only few hours before.

Ianto's finger moved from his jaw and proceeded south, lightly caressing the strong muscles of the neck and following through the lines of Jack's chest. The soft touch made Jack stir, but Ianto simply kept his meticulous exploration going, knowing that his lover had always liked to wake up like that.

"You enjoy it?" Jack muttered still half asleep.

"Well… You told me about the two weeks before my death…" Ianto said, his voice velvety and mellow as he hoped to get the truth out of his comatose lover.

"Hn hn"

"You told me about all the not-so-little secrets that came out during the accident that killed me…"

"Hn hn"

"You told me something about what happened next…"

"Hn hn"

"I was wondering if there was still something about those six years that I still don't know about"

"Hn hn- Wait, what?" Jack asked, suddenly slightly more awake as he stared confusedly at his lover.

"Other lovers? Time travels?" Ianto offered with nonchalance.

"No time travel" Jack answered, stretching himself in front of Ianto's greedy eyes. "And the other lovers don't matter"

"Why's that?"

Jack smirked up at Ianto, who was pouting in the cutest and outraged way.

"Because they weren't you" He pointed out, and then he grabbed Ianto by his waist and trapped him on his back beneath him. He left a few kisses on his neck and then he simply cuddled next to him, basking in his lover's warmness.

"You're really something else" Ianto huffed in displeasure, but eventually tightened his hold around Jack's shoulder, deciding to keep his irrational jealousy and his doubts on leash. Or for later.

Now Jack was in one of his worst phases of neediness and he had learnt from experience that he had better make the best of them when they happened. There weren't many times in which Jack actually _needed_ him, but when they happened, usually after a particular hard mission, he needed him badly. And usually the same thing went for Ianto.

"You like it like this?" Ianto asked, caressing tenderly his lover's hair.

"Yeah… I missed this, even more than having sex with you."

"I guess I couldn't hope for a better compliment coming from you" Ianto sniggered amused, but Jack growled, tightening his hold on his lover's waist even more.

"This is so untrue! You know I'm a cuddler at heart"

"Sometimes" Ianto conceded with a relaxed sigh.

"Promise me you won't try to leave me, Ianto" Jack muttered in a weak voice muffled by Ianto's chest. "I survived once, I barely survived the second time, but I don't know if I could get through all that again."

"Jack, you know I can't do it." Ianto tried to explain softly, leaving a kiss on his forehead. "Despite what's expected from me, I'm still only human. I'll die one day."

"I meant willingly. If… If you can stay, I don't want a replay of what happened. I don't even want Torchwood, I want you somewhere safe."

Ianto knew that with Jack like this such a topic was bound to come out, and he knew that until this morning, for him at least, the chance of leaving Torchwood was not on his list of things to do. However, if he really could stay in this future, Torchwood was something they would have to recreate from scratch… The rift wasn't a danger anymore, so Jack had said, and Torchwood was not a necessity… But what would he do with his life if not saving the world?

He sighed and scanned his brain for some truthful retort that would satisfy Jack and himself, but he could find none.

"Let's talk with Martha first"

Jack shifted his weight on his elbows and looked up at the Welshman, knowing exactly how his lover's mind worked.

"No, Ianto. Martha is UNIT and no matter how much I love her, she could lead us right through the danger, I want you to promise me _now_!"

"All right then" Ianto eventually capitulated. "I promise you that I'll do my best to keep myself safe."

The cryptic answer wasn't one Jack particularly liked, but Ianto had to be alive to be safe, so he deemed it satisfying enough. "Good"

"But I'm not going to forget about Torchwood without putting on a fight" Ianto still felt the need to add.

"What!?"

"Jack, I've got knowledge and experience. If something were to happen to the Earth, I _need_ to be there and do something. I can't ignore humanity suffering and dying in front of my eyes when I know I can help."

"You should. They did it."

"It was my work, Jack… However, you have a point. I need to check more attentively if my abilities are actually a match for our enemies. You weren't the only one not used to put his lover's first and this has to change, if what you said is true, then I'm as guilty as you are. Seeing you like this is enough for me, Jack, I can't stand the idea that I could have done this to you... No matter how much I want to help this little planet we live on. Still, if I can do something, I want the chance to do it."

Jack swallowed and silently nodded, hiding his face again against Ianto's shoulder and tightening more his arms around his lover's lithe frame.

"You deserve this immortality way more than me."

"No one deserves your immortality, Jack, but I swear to you that I'll be here for you as much as I can." Ianto kissed the top of Jack's head and then willed himself to actually do something practical. "Now we really should go."

Jack nodded again and with some difficulty managed to find enough determination to extricate himself from his lover. He took a few moments to admire the gorgeous man beneath him and then he eventually stood up with a smile on his lips, offering his lover a hand to get up.

After a quick shower, they left _Jack's_ apartment, ready to head to one of their favourite restaurants, one that had luckily stayed exactly where they remembered. Still, the owners' now were different, as it was everything else around the place. It had actually been a shock for Ianto take in how everything had actually changed in the area. This was really the future… the future he wasn't supposed to see.

Only a few hours before, Ianto had left the Torchwood hub in a fury, deeply regretting the day he had met Jack Harkness and run into his flat, full of his things and mementoes. His lover had joined him a few minutes later and they'd had one of the worst fights he remembered.

Then a shining golden dust had surrounded him and everything had changed. Jack had told him that not only he hadn't cheated on him, but that he loved him, that Ianto had been dead for six years, that the flat had just become his and everything that the Welshman had owned, including their work at Torchwood, wasn't there anymore. Still the weight of it hadn't quite reached him until he was faced with the same world he had sworn to protect.

Now that he was outside, he could see the passing of the time: on the restaurants and shops that weren't where he knew anymore or had changed names, on the areas completely renewed with a different style. All the hope he'd had that Jack was simply having him on disappeared along with his courage to actually be able to mingle in this strange future. A future that wasn't supposed to be his.

Jack noticed Ianto's sudden change of mood, and offered him a bit of shopping after they finished their launch. They were both going to need clean clothes if they were to stay with Martha for a few days, besides there would be less traffic if they just took the highway to London at night.

Ianto smiled at him. A light afternoon of shopping and nonsense with the man he loved… Yes, everything had changed, but he still had Jack. And not just Jack, but the Jack he had always wanted, the one that finally had the guts to speak up clearly to him without too many secrets darkening their mood. In front of his lover's adoring and open smile, every doubt about leaving -or better, not recreating- Torchwood paled visibly.

Feeling way better, Ianto accepted Jack's proposition and found himself being dragged around half of Cardiff Bay. Some of the rush they put into shopping came from Ianto's will to check all the new tailor's shops that had grown in the most unexpected areas of the city, but mostly it was just that none of them had any idea about where to go, so they simply followed the tiny bits of memory they had about the area and their curiosity to see what had happened. Still they had a wonderful afternoon, so beautiful actually that they almost forgot about how things were not the way they were supposed to be.

Once they reached the SUV again, they had to say that there were both quite satisfied with their shopping though. Both of them had managed to get at least a couple of complete change of clothes along with toiletries and some snacks for the night.

Only then the hard reality hit them once again, remembering them why they needed the stuff in the first place.

"So, are we going to London straight from here?" Jack asked, both worried and thrilled to know if he could really keep Ianto. Deep inside himself, he wondered if there was also a small chance that it could be forever, but he didn't dare to share with Ianto that little guilty part of his conjectures.

"It's not like we've got something to do at home." Ianto said as he got inside the SUV, smiling awkwardly at his lover.

"Then let's go. Whenever you feel the need to sleep tell me, so you can stretch on the backseats."

"Don't be stupid, Jack, I'll just take a nap on the passenger's seat if I feel the need for it. The trip is short and is not _that_ much late. It will be quicker and it won't leave you all alone. Now go."

Ianto had no time to actually shut close the door that he found himself trapped in Jack's arms, his lips desperately for him. He relaxed in the warm embrace and kissed him back, feeling how much the other man loved him through their connection.

When he would go back to his own timeline, if that was what his future had actually in store for him, he would miss how everything simply felt so normal and proper.

It was like being out of his time, but in a good way: no death lingering on his thirties, no family to hide from, no routine to change, no people around him watching and asking things he didn't want to admit. For the first time in his life he really felt free.

They eventually found the strength to separate each other, but their eyes still lingered on each other's for a while before sitting properly in their seats.

"Ehm, well, let's go to London then."

Ianto smirked at Jack's embarrassment, noticing how the man was looking right in front on himself with a light blush just spreading over his cheeks. The scene made him smile even wider, until eventually he decided to leave his lover be and offered him a new topic to talk about.

That was going to be a quite funny excursion.

**X**

Ianto had managed to keep himself awake most of the trip, Jack's tales literally being a cure against sleep even though he had eventually succumbed to the SUV relaxing lethargy.

When they stopped in front of Martha's house, Jack woke him up with a light shake of the shoulder and a peck on his cheek.

"Ianto? We're here."

"Uhn? Jack?"

"You stay in the car, I'll go and talk with her."

Ianto nodded sleepily and tried his best to make himself reacquainted with his surroundings, whilst Jack put on his most charming expression and went to knock on the door. Soon, he heard heavy steps from behind it, and then, after a small moment of silence, followed the noise of someone quickly tossing around things and unlocking locks. When everything was finally undone, the door opened and he found his arms full of his old friend.

"Oh my God, Jack! I thought you would never come!"

Jack chuckled at her reaction and closed his arms around her shoulders, leaving a small peck on the top of her head.

"How are you, gorgeous?" He asked, putting some space between the two of them and staring at her figure proudly. "Getting bigger, aren't we?"

However a deep male voice came from behind Martha before she could answer with more than a short snort. "Do you make a habit of intruding in people's life this late at night?"

"Mickey! Macho like always aren't you?" Jack greeted, patting the other man's shoulder friendly. "Congratulations to the both of you."

They smiled happily at him, even though Mickey was actually manly trying to deny the smirk tugging at his lips. As Martha stared closely at Jack though, something in his gaze caught her eye and she suddenly turned serious.

"Did something happen? I mean, beside the obvious. You look strange."

Jack's smirk faded a bit, but he still tried to look less nervous than he was to not worry his friends too much.

"Do you have a spot in your garage for my car? I fear this might take a while, and I still think I am on the national black list."

"Nothing dangerous I hope" Mickey warned him, encircling Martha's shoulders with his arm protectively.

"No, nothing dangerous. But I can trust only Martha with this."

Mickey nodded, deciding to trust Jack despite his better judgement. He pushed a couple of buttons behind the door and a few feet from them the garage entry opened as well as the main gate of the big house they were living in. Jack smirked at them and went to get his car, hoping that everything was going to be ok.

In the meanwhile Mickey and Martha had gone back inside the house to enter the garage from the internal door. They were slowed down by Martha's pace, so by the time they actually reached the black SUV, Jack had already parked inside and the entrance had closed behind the car. In front of them stood a very embarrassed captain, leaning alone and unsettled on the bonnet of his car: the mystery was just getting thicker.

"So, what's inside?" Mickey asked nodding towards the SUV.

Much to Martha's shock, the passenger's door opened and she found herself face to face with what she could only call a ghost.

"Oh, my God."

"What? Who is he?" Mickey asked, staring at his wife, then at Jack and eventually at the newcomer, who was currently approaching the captain. "Is he one of your lovers by any chance?"

"Yeah" Jack admitted, holding Ianto by his waist and escorting him closer to their guests. "My one and only"

Martha took few steps backwards in reaction and took deep breaths, trying to calm down a little more as she put her hands on her bulging belly.

"He- He's dead. I know it, I saw him dead. I talked with Gwen, he was _absolutely_ dead."

"As a matter of fact, _I_'ve never been dead." Ianto told her in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. "However, pleased to see you again to you too."

Martha stared at him suspiciously, searching his face for any hint of betrayal. She trusted Jack, but she trusted a little less her friend to be impartial about something concerning his _most definitively_ _dead_ lover.

"I'm still in the darkness here" Mickey argued, wondering about what the stranger and his wife were debating about.

"He's Ianto" Martha explained as it was the answer to all Mickey's questions. "Ianto Jones."

"Wait, are you talking about the lover the sex-fiend went missing for?" Mickey asked, staring shocked at his wife until she nodded. "_That_ Ianto Jones?"

"Yep" Ianto confirmed, waving his hand unsurely and managing to get everyone's attention on him again. "Hello"

"It's quite a long story, actually" Jack cut in, sighing aloud. "Do you have some time to spare?"

"Ye-yeah! Of-of course!" Martha hastened to say and moved from the door leading to the house to let them get inside.

"UNIT?" Jack asked as he was close to her.

"Don't worry, Jack, I'm on leave. We're not supposed to check in with them until I've dealt with this."

She pointed to her belly and gave them a smirk. Jack's smile matched hers and he reached for her, hugging her again tightly.

"Thank you, Martha. I'm sorry to barge in like this"

"C'mon, you saved my live more than once… And I _was_ getting bored."

Martha shooed them inside, closing the door behind her as soon as they had all moved to the living room and taken a seat. She joined them, but she quickly realised that none of them had the courage to start any conversation: Mickey was still staring suspiciously at Jack, Jack for once seemed to actually have no clue on where to start, and Ianto simply stole glances at his lover, probably not thinking it was his place to explain the situation. The situation really needed a feminine touch.

"Soo… You're back." She tried, smiling awkwardly at Ianto.

"I really am not, quite the contrary." Ianto argued, nervously biting his own lips. He stole once again a glance in Jack's direction, but as soon as their eyes met his lover's turned his gaze elsewhere.

"It's complicated" Jack explained eventually.

"At the moment I don't really think that there's something that still can surprise us." Mickey reprimanded them, crossing his arms on his chest and now staring suspiciously at the couple.

"UNIT gave me this" Jack began tiredly, taking out the ghost machine from his pocket. "As a souvenir. And you don't actually have to tell me that they had a different agenda than they let on, because I'm sure they had… But I really wanted to see Ianto again, so I just took it."

"What's that? I've never seen anything like it." Martha asked, taking the device in her hands.

"Babe, that might be dangerous!"

Martha simply shut her husband with a quick gesture of her hand. "C'mon, continue."

"It's just a quantum transducer. It's not dangerous if you don't press the button on the top"

"So, what happened? You got him here from the past?" She asked, stealing a glance out of the window. "But I don't see harpies or the destruction of the world outside."

"There are the earthquakes." Mickey pointed out, only to be glared at by Martha.

"That was way before this happened" She explained angrily, making her husband raise his hands in the air defensively. Then she turned to her friends with a much sweeter smile. "So?"

"So, we have no clue" Ianto concluded.

"I thought this was supposed to be a long story" Martha complained, amused by the defeated expression on her friends' face.

"Maybe we quite exaggerated a bit-" Jack tried to say before getting interrupted by Ianto.

"Or we summarized too much"

Both Martha and Mickey stared at them surprised and a tiny bit suspicious, so Ianto took his lover's hand in his and with a small smile encouraged him to tell their friends what had happened next.

"There was an earthquake and I activated the ghost machine by mistake. The device it's meant to focus on the lingering energy and emotion, enhancing them and showing them as an apparition. It's not supposed to bring here people from the past, besides you said it yourself: no destruction of time and space on the outside."

"But truth is that it's not even supposed to create a human out of nothing." Ianto added uncertainly.

"Basically you don't know actually who are what you are." Martha summarized as Ianto nodded and Jack sighed dramatically.

"That's why we need your help." The captain concluded.

"I remember everything clearly and I didn't notice anything that would make me feel like I'm in an alternate universe." Ianto offered, feeling completely guilty for putting everyone in such a predicament.

"We didn't notice anything strange" Jack supplied helpfully. "Warmth, memories, behaviour, marks… There's nothing off. As far as two weeks prior to London everything fit together perfectly."

"So you need a specialist" Martha concluded, smiling at them. "It's late, but I could start something right now. I'll take some basic samples and I'll set them in the machine, so tomorrow we'll start with those. Jack, I'll need your help twice, the last time to settle all the chemicals in the proper spots. I don't trust myself that far."

"No problem, but… What about the first?" Jack asked, staring at her confused.

Martha smirked pleased at her friend, her teeth shining bright and her eyes glinting mischievously as she handled him a small container and pointed him towards a door at the far end of the living room with a nudge of her head.

"I'll need also a semen sample."

Jack simply busted in laughs, whilst both Mickey and Ianto turned a deep shade of red and hunched their shoulders.

"C'mon, Ian, you and I have some doctor's orders to accomplish."

And with that Jack pushed the still reluctant Ianto through the bathroom door.

**X**

After some embarrassing minutes later, Ianto and Mickey found themselves alone in the living room, sitting one in front of the other as they basked once again in their uncomfortable silence.

"I forgot to say congratulations. On the kid." Ianto muttered at a certain point, still too ashamed to face Mickey properly.

"It was absolutely awkward knowing that you two were going at it right behind the bathroom door." Mickey said, bringing the discussion back to the topic Ianto wanted to avoid. The Welshman's face flamed up again and he hunched his shoulders even more.

"I would say Jack going at me, I was deeply put off myself by the very same knowledge."

Mickey raised an unsure eyebrow at him, elaborating quietly the information in his mind as he tried to decide how the heck he felt about it.

"I don't actually know if I didn't want to know or if I feel better after knowing that you weren't ok with it."

"Well, I don't actually know why I told you that myself."

The Englishman smirked at him, shaking his head tiredly and completely understanding the feeling. He himself didn't quite understand why he brought the discussion back to the topic that was making them uncomfortable in the first place.

"I have an answer for you: too much Jack Harkness."

Ianto finally stared back at him, reciprocating the smirk.

"Oh, well, too much Jack always has contraindications, and we've hardly been without one another for more than half an hour lately." Realising what he was assuming though, his face fell again. "I mean, until the point I've live to."

"I understand"

"_What_ do you understand?"

"Quite a lot actually." Mickey told him, getting back on his feet to seat down next to Ianto on the sofa. "What it does mean being in your own time and reality, but still feeling like you weren't supposed to be here anymore. What it does mean for Jack to have you back and why he's so scared... But more than anything, I understand why he never showed up at our door after you demise."

Ianto swallowed at the last sentence, his eyes silently asking why even without voicing it out.

"He adores you… I've never saw him like that. I noticed some differences when the Earth was moved across the universe, but now I can really see those hints for what they were. I couldn't even phantom what would have meant for him losing you… Considering that it was obvious that he would turn down even the Doctor."

"You keep saying this, but I never actually died." Ianto protested, getting quite nervous each time they talked about his death. He couldn't even deal well with Jack's when he knew he would come back, keep mentioning his own definitive one was truly disturbing.

"How can you say it for sure? Maybe the rift spit you out."

"The rift doesn't exist anymore."

"Still, Jack saw some golden dust and-"

"I don't remember it." Ianto cut him off rudely.

"You're stubborn" Mickey concluded, staring irritated at the Welshman, who simply shrugged.

"Truth to be told, I think that I'd like to be from the past or from a parallel universe, because that would be that I'm actually _me_… However, on the other hand, that would also mean that I would have to choose between this Jack and another somewhere else." Ianto sighed and grabbed his head with his hands disheartened. "What if I really died and I'm not actually _myself_? There's no way I could stay with him… Either way actually… Things are complicated."

"That's bullshit"

Ianto threw his head up and glared furiously at Mickey. "What!?"

"It is!" Mickey challenged, glaring back at him. "I've seen Jack trying to shag the world! You have Ianto's face, memories, personality… Even if you end up being a copy or something like that, do you really think that would matter to him?"

"You know nothing about Jack!" Ianto took Mickey's collar and put their faces just few inches from one another's. "Don't you dare to speak about him like that!"

"Of course I don't know him, I wasn't the one falling for his cheap gigolo tricks and getting shagged! At least I hope you shagged him back well enough."

With that Mickey tried to wriggle himself free, but Ianto tightened the grip and did his best to push him on the floor. When he eventually succeeded, they didn't actually punch one another, but the struggle kept going for some time, none of them wanting to take back what they had said or let the other get the upper hand.

After almost fifteen minutes of wrestling though, a young feminine voice made both of them stop in the most awkward position, with Ianto sprawled beneath Mickey, who was trying desperately to keep him pinned down.

"What the heck are you two doing!? Mickey, let him go!"

Obediently Mickey let go of Ianto's wrists and put some distance between the two of them, setting in order his wrinkled clothes. Still Ianto didn't try to move at all, his eyes fixing guiltily Jack's pale face and blank expression.

"Jack?" He wondered, but Jack simply took a firm grip of his wrists and tugged him up, dragging him in the guestroom Martha had told him about without saying a single word to either of them.

When they were finally alone, Jack let him go, but he still didn't seem willing to talk with Ianto and proceeded getting undressed.

"I'm sorry" Ianto said eventually, successfully managing to get his lover's attention back on him.

"Of all the people. Mickey." Jack stated angrily, throwing hastily his trousers on a chair.

"Jack, c'mon. You know he would never be my type, we were wrestling… He got on my nerves, we weren't trying to go at it."

Jack stared at Ianto's clear eyes for any sign of deception and leaving Ianto to wonder how far exactly his lover actually trusted him.

"How the hell am I supposed to know what your type is? I'm in no way similar to Lisa."

"Well… You're both smart and protective and do plenty of jokes, but that's beside the point…" Ianto smiled softly at him and held him tight. "I thought I would never see the day in which you are the one getting jealous of me"

Jack huffed, but he still reciprocated the embrace.

"You never got the chance the first time" He told him sadly, burying his face in Ianto's soft hair.

"About that… I don't really know what to hope for, that's how we ended up manhandling each other."

"You don't need to punch Mickey for it." Jack joked, nuzzling his head and leaving a kiss on his temple.

"He was in the wrong place at the wrong time… and he has this horrible English accent. He was the nearest I could get to Owen."

Jack burst out laughing and held his lover even tighter.

"Only you could get fed up at someone just because he's speaking like Owen"

He stared once again in Ianto's eyes adoringly and left a gentle peck on his lips.

"Let's get to bed, Ian. Let's forget about tomorrow."

"Jack-" Ianto's words were cut off Jack's lips on his again, pressing down hungrily as the need to mark his lover as his and is alone grew any second more.

Ianto let him do as he pleased and allowed himself to fall backwards on the soft mattress, bringing Jack down with him. The kiss grew wilder and needier and before he could realize it, his mouth was wide open to let their tongues meet. They fought, danced and clashed against one another's until none of them could understand who was winning and who was losing, too lost in their mutual pleasure to even care.

"Take me" Jack mumbled, their lips far enough to let them look into each other's eyes.

Ianto smirked at him, grinding their groins one against the other. "Will you let me have you ever again?"

"Later if you want" Jack teased, kissing Ianto jaw up to bite his ear and lick its edge. "I'll let you ride me… just the way you like it… with my fingers teasing your ass until they drive you mad… How would that feel?"

"Mmmm" Ianto moaned, giving Jack better access to his neck to allow his kisses to keep going. "That would be wonderful…"

"Would it? My cock buried deep inside you, your ring unmercifully stretched like it can't take it anymore, your gorgeous pale body jumping up and down drenched in sweat…"

Ianto shifted uncomfortably, seeking more contact with his lover and more friction downwards.

"I'll make cum hard, Ian" Jack continued, tormenting Ianto's nipples from above the thin layer of his shirt. "You will cry out my name, begging for me to never stop…"

"…but for now" He added with an evil smirk as he switched their positions and took his chance to reach up for Ianto's penis, grabbing it from above his trousers. "This is mine"

Ianto took a big intake of breath and his eyes closed just a bit, then he clashed again their lips together, maddening tearing apart Jack's clothes to get him naked as soon as he could. Satisfied with the general outcome of the situation the smirking captain just let him do as he pleased.

Tomorrow they would know something more about the mess they were in, but until then there was still time, and they weren't going to waste it anymore.

**TBC**


	5. I know I don't posses you

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first. Titles for the fiction and for its chapters are copyright by Abba, namely from the song "My love, my life".

**Warnings**: Small references to the series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**I know I don't posses you**

The day after, Jack and Ianto were roused by a light embarrassed cough. When they managed to somewhat disentangle from each other and look at the newcomer, they found a heavily blushing Mickey trying not to stare down at them.

They literally had to thank all the gods they knew about for the thick blanket that was still covering them, since they knew by experience that they not always managed to look decent in the mornings.

"Martha said that whenever you're ready, there's breakfast downstairs. Then you can start the check up…" Mickey blabbed uneasily and rather quickly. "T-Take your time"

That said, he fled.

The couple stared sleepily at the door shutting itself loudly behind his back and was left wondering what strange path of thoughts had formed inside the Englishman's mind. Mickey had known beforehand that they were together and, as far as they could tell, nothing had ever made them aware that he could have been a latent homophobic. Moreover they were all male, so embarrassment shouldn't have been a problem, even though they could be biased for thinking like that, since Jack had no shame for himself and Ianto had most definitely took after him in all the time together.

Most likely, Jack decided privately, it had simply something to do with _him_ having sex. He must have really shocked the guy the first time around, but since he sincerely didn't understood the difference between being honest and being blunt back then, he couldn't really tell what he did wrong with the Englishman. Ianto had tried teaching him what was proper say and when he had better shut it, but he was still learning. And he had met Mickey more than one hundred years before he met his lover.

"Mickey's a point there actually" Ianto said, stretching his tired muscles like a cat. "What made you stay in bed until this late in the morning? You usually don't sleep as much as me."

"You were comfortable" Jack teased, rolling himself over Ianto to kiss him properly on the lips. "You still are"

"We should get this solved quickly" Ianto muttered in the kiss as he put his arms around Jack's neck. "If I get cleared for work, we could offer our help to Martha with some of her UNIT homework."

Jack growled, almost glaring at his lover.

"You and your stupid determination to save the world! I swear I'm going to make you get a job in a bar or something."

"You own my heart, Jack, but you don't own me."

Jack stared in Ianto's eyes astonished, reading there the honest truth of his words, but seeing no real anger or dissatisfaction. He had always claimed his own freedom in their relationship, so it was just obvious for Ianto to expect the same.

It had actually happened rarely in the past that they heatedly disagree on something and Ianto took over, mostly because at the end of everything they were always at work and Jack was the leader, but now that Torchwood was no more he had to admit that his lover's work career wasn't his to twist as much as he pleased anymore.

As a matter of fact, Ianto had been Torchwood way before meeting him. He had his own dreams and hopes leading him to that choice, so it was just obvious that, missing the work he had chosen for himself, he wouldn't set for a completely different one. Besides, when he became Torchwood 3, Jack hadn't chosen Ianto, it was Ianto that had _asked_ and tricked his way in.

He didn't settle for Torchwood, he had wanted and searched for it. No matter how One had recruited him the first time: that work had been accepted and then chosen once again for a reason, a reason that now Jack knew. The desire to protect, to help, to be useful, and as he did that to gather enough knowledge to be acknowledged as worthy and useful.

Working in a bar would keep him safe, but wouldn't really manage to make him completely happy and satisfied with himself.

"We'll talk about that later on, ok?" Jack told him unsurely. "Just… Know that I want you safer than it was before."

"Let's go and see Martha then. Knowing exactly what I am, when and where I'm supposed to be and how much I'm going to last would actually make things easier for us."

Jack nodded and finally stood up, leaving Ianto free to do the same. After a quick shower each and some heavy discussion on what to wear, they finally reached Martha and Mickey downstairs.

As soon as he spotted them, the Englishman tried to run away again, but his wife promptly took him by his collar and plainly ordered him to cut it off. Nevertheless, for Mickey it had been easier to do so only when Jack, Ianto and Martha had disappeared in her makeshift lab to go over the samples taken the day before.

Despite his initial joy, when more than four hours passed without any yell or suspicious rumour from the room, he began to actually worry. He arranged something for lunch, more to do something than for actually being hungry, and prepared himself for an even longer waiting. When he felt desperate enough to break in the lab, Martha finally came out of it with their friends and a relatively high stack of papers.

"So?" Mickey asked worriedly.

Jack and Ianto simply shrugged, whilst Martha happily took a seat in a central position, expecting the men to diligently sit in front of her before giving them her medical opinion.

When everyone was ready, she cleared her voice and let her eyes rest on Ianto.

"So, I would say you're the real thing as much as we can get."

"What?" The three men asked at unison.

"What does it mean 'as you can get'?" Ianto added, just to be sure.

"First of all: the case I'm following at UNIT concerns the latest increase in earthquakes. They are not generated from the earth moving or God being angry like the telly says, but from the time energy that got trapped down the surface of the earth when the rift was sealed once and for all. This energy can break out in some places, but being something we can call _time activity,_ it regenerates itself soon after. To put it simple: it is like in some particular places for a fraction of time a micro rift opens and then closes soon after, just like when you bake a cake and it cracks because the dough increase its volume too much. The only difference is that with time activity, the cracks don't stick on it."

Ianto stared uncomfortably at Martha, not daring to make any assumptions on what that could mean, still Jack held him tightly to himself, trying to be there for him despite the news.

"So he's really from the past?" Mickey asked hesitantly, voicing everyone's fears.

"He's not." Martha answered, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I believe the rift energy mingled with the ghost machine, managing to make the illusion real. That energy had been real in first place, it had been whatever of Ianto was left lingering in this world… So he _is_ Ianto. He's exactly Ianto the way he was two weeks before London happened."

"No, I'm not" Ianto said, his voice strangled by sadness and delusion. "I am a made up copy from some energy left. With a bit of luck I can survive just until the rift energy lasts."

"That's not true." Martha stated professionally, handling him some of the papers she still held in her lap. "Look, these are your scans, and exams. There's nothing that makes you different from any normal human being. I also cross referenced these results with the ones salvaged from the Torchwood servers. I can assure that these are identical to yours before the… accident."

She searched in the stack for some other sheets and handled them over the men too, letting Jack take them.

"I've checked blood samples, blood pressure, body functions, flesh and fluids composition, atoms density… There's nothing abnormal. You can see it by yourself. We could even say that you are Ianto Jones, straight from the past, but without those awful things that comes with paradoxes. You have no particular residue on yourself either, so I can safely say that you're not from another dimension too."

"So…" Jack said eventually, his hands trembling as he stared astonished at the results. "I can keep him?"

"Yeah, I don't see why not." Martha said smiling. "If he wants to be yours, there's nothing stopping the two of you being together, except maybe the law, since Ianto is still officially dead, but I'm quite sure you will manage it well."

Jack turned to Ianto and tried to hug him, but the Welshman put some distance between them with his hand.

"I- I need fresh air"

Ianto stood up, but Mickey had to be quick reaching for him before he managed to fall on the floor for the shock.

"I'll keep an eye on him" The Englishman stated, leading Ianto slowly towards the door. "I'll keep him away from the CCTV in the area, so we won't risk him ending up in UNIT hands."

When they were finally alone, Martha glanced uncertainly at Jack, pretending to be busy fixing and shuffling the various documents in their proper place.

"So… He was quite shocked."

"Well, yeah" Jack admitted, searching around himself for something to stare at that wasn't Martha or her complicated sheets of data.

"Yep… So worried, actually, that he didn't notice I was lying"

Jack turned immediately his attention to her at the sudden confession and stared at the young medic with wide eyes.

"What?"

Martha sighed and gave Jack one of the papers she had been holding back to herself. "The rift energy permeated his whole being, in order to condense atoms and recreate flesh and everything else properly. Now it's almost completely used up, of course, but it's still lingering."

"So he's not complete?"

"Oh, no, he _is_ complete. That's the main problem here."

"I can't follow you then."

"The rift energy mission is completed, finished. The illusion of Ianto, the one inside that apparition that had adsorbed it, was restored to complete consistency and everything is fine. There's nothing else for the energy to do. You don't have to worry, it's just like when you use too much glue to fix something, with time it goes away… unless you play with heat around it."

"I still don't get it… What are you trying to tell me?"

"Part of that rift/time energy is time vortex, Jack, and you have a vortex manipulator. Whatever it happens, don't use it with Ianto, not for at least a few weeks or so. Make it a month to be sure, because if you use it too soon, what is still lingering on the surface will fix the residues of the vortex inside him... He could end up like you."

Jack stared at Martha speechless. To be a nice and gentle woman, she had put an extremely heavy weight on him. In his hands laid a decision that wasn't really his to take to begin with. Turning Ianto immortal had been his deepest fear and dread, but also something he had sincerely and irrationally regretted not doing in his less sane moments.

As much as he wanted Ianto for himself, he also wanted the man he loved to live a proper life. On another hand, leaving Ianto to decide everything by himself sounded cruel as much as it scared him to death. What would happen if Ianto chose immortality? Would he regret it in the end? And what would be left of Jack if he refused? Knowing that he wasn't enough for Ianto to take the risk could hurt him more than everything.

"What do you expect me to do?"

"The right thing" She said seriously, reaching for his arm with her hand. "I trust you to talk with him and chose what's proper."

"What if I can't? What if I do the stupid thing and egoistically turn him like me against his will? What if I don't and he refuses? What if I make him my enemy forever?"

"Jack, I don't really think he will turn on you just like that. Trust him to do what's best for the both of you."

Jack nodded, still not completely convinced that he was truthfully going to have the strength to discuss the situation with Ianto. He sighed tiredly, trying not to think about the implications of Martha's words.

He had no real time to fix himself though, since Mickey and Ianto run quickly back inside shutting the door loudly behind themselves.

"What happened?" Martha asked them worried.

"We saw one of your girls from UNIT." Mickey explained "She's coming here!"

"Oh my God, Jack! Ianto!" She yelled at them, pointing at the stairs. "Go back to your bedroom and wait there. Go! Quick!"

They nodded and then Jack promptly took Ianto's hand in his to help him up the stairs.

When they entered the bedroom, both of them went automatically to the most internal corner of the place, hoping that they could overheard the discussion Martha was having with the other UNIT soldier, in case it concerned them. No matter how much Mickey and Ianto could swear that the girl hadn't seen them, there was always the chance that they had been discovered.

As they were waiting for the first part of courtesy chatting to end though, Jack found himself unable to focus. He had Ianto basically in his arms: his enticing smell filled his nostrils and his body heat warmed his heart way more that his skin. Was he really willing to give up all this when he had the chance to keep it forever? Still Ianto had been right that morning… Jack didn't own him.

"Ian?" Jack asked unsurely, as his lover made himself more comfortable next to him to hear him better, even though he was apparently unable to focus on the discussion downstairs as much as his captain. "What do you think about my immortality?"

Ianto stared at him shocked, his blue eyes opening wide as he regarded his lover like he had grew another head.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Just wondering, really. If by any chance you wished for it, I wouldn't mind searching for way to make you like me..."

"And condemn myself to eternal pain and suffering? Would someone really wish for that?" Seeing how Jack had suddenly turned sad, Ianto regretted his words the same moment he had said them. He gave him a gentle kiss and tried to cheer him up with a small smile. "I'm with you now, I don't want to waste our precious time searching for something to make me live more with you. Let's not waste what we've been given. Wishing to have more, we would only enjoy it less."

It took all his courage for Jack to not confess Ianto what Martha had revealed him, but since he himself hadn't make up his own mind about turning his lover immortal, he simply let it go for the moment. He smiled back at him and held him tighter in his arms, as both of them fitted in the small corner of the room, trying to focus more on the UNIT soldier talking with Martha than on what Ianto's words meant for the both of them or how well their bodies fitted together.

In the end Jack gave in, duty having stopped being his priority many years before. His hands quickly made their way along Ianto's thighs, caressing them hard enough to make him understand that it was his attention he was craving. It didn't take Jack too much to distract his lover, who after a small moment of doubt fell willingly in his trap, seeking hungrily for Jack's lips. So lost in their kiss, eventually they heard almost nothing of the tale. The only thing that managed to stop them was Mickey's soft cough for attention that echoed in the air once again.

This was really becoming a habit.

"She's gone. You can come back... If you want." The Englishman stated embarrassed.

Ianto had the decency to look humiliated, but Jack had no such qualms and sported his best grin.

"Thanks, Mickey. We'll be there in a minute."

"A minute or thirty?"

"_A _minute." Ianto pointed out before Jack could say something completely different, and earned Jack's sad pout for that.

Mickey nodded, pretending to be fine with that, and quickly escaped from the room. Jack stared at the Englishman baffled, so Ianto took his chance to flee to the adjoined bathroom and wash his face with some water. Some _very_ cold water.

"You're turning me into you" Ianto quipped as soon as he heard Jack stepping inside the small room.

"I thought I was only turning you _on_. And I never knew you for someone to complain."

"Well, it's just a bit too sudden, maybe. Or the fact that Mickey is clearly embarrassed every time he sees us."

"Ianto, he behaves like that only because he sees me. It's not you his problem."

"It's still weird" Ianto half muttered, drying up his face with a towel. As soon as he put it back on its rail, Jack reached for his lover and brought him closer to him, taking his chance to kiss him once again. Ianto's lips were cold and still partly wet, something that for some reason sent small shivers of pleasure down his back. Still, he had to admit that he would be hard pressed to find something regarding Ianto that didn't get from him such a reaction.

"Don't worry about it." Jack told him as soon as he broke the kiss. "Now let's go and see what that soldier wanted. We might have to move."

Ianto nodded and offered him a small smile.

Downstairs, they found Martha, who was massaging nervously her belly, lost in whatever she was thinking about. Ianto quickened his steps to kneel down next to her worriedly.

"Martha? What happened?"

"Oh, Ianto! Don't worry, I just got very bad news, but there's really nothing we can do about it."

"What news?" Jack asked, sitting next to her and taking her hand in his.

"She was here just for visiting, really, but obviously we ended up talking about work anyway. Looks like that when the last earthquake happened, not every breach closed properly. It's still not a rift, but it could _become_ one, especially if another quake were to happen too soon."

"And where is this… wanna-be-rift?" Ianto asked, earning Martha's big brown eyes staring worriedly at him.

"Buckingham Palace of all the places" At her friends shocked stares, Martha answered with a loud sigh before going on. "It's in a quite restricted area, but there's some kind of festivity going on and the Palace is currently filled with royalty from all over the world. Securing the area is off topic, and you know that UNIT can't do a thing without filling the streets with soldiers."

"You would need someone able to act silently during the night, in order to not alarm civilian people. Stealth, quick thinking for improvisation and possibly a lot of retcon for emergencies." Jack considered, crossing his arms on his chest pensively.

"You need Torchwood." Ianto concluded, shocking Jack to the core.

He turned quickly to stare startled at his lover and yelled at him. "No way!"

"I'm not going to ask you this." Martha said resolutely, trying to mend between the two lovers.

"Well, there's still the problem to find a way to close it…" Ianto said, hoping to find a different way to help.

"Oh, but we know that well enough." Martha said quickly. "That's why I'm not going to ask you to do it."

"And that's why we're not going to do it!" Jack shouted eventually, standing abruptly and disappearing upstairs, shutting the door loudly behind himself.

"Wait, what was that?"

Martha took Ianto's hand in hers and motioned for him to take the seat Jack had vacated.

"Look, I don't know much of it, just something Gwen told me, but… Well, you sort of died closing the rift in Cardiff."

"I thought I died from the alien venom."

"That was the first time. I told you, it's a bit complicated and I don't know much, just understand that we do know how to close a rift thanks to you and that Jack will never let you near it because of what happened."

Ianto nodded and stared down at their clasped hands, wondering about the best way to deal with a quite angry Jack.

"We should talk about this, but Jack doesn't even want to try. I know that six years passed for him, but I can't simply switch from being involved into saving the world daily to a complete civilian life in a snap of fingers. I know too much, I couldn't survive the guilt if something was to happen and people were to die because of my inaction."

"Leave this to UNIT and have your life, Ianto. Maybe with time you'll find what will make you happy, but you are asking too much from Jack right now. He just got you back, and he's scared to lose you again."

"I… Can't deal with choosing between my work as Torchwood and Jack at the moment. Somehow I always thought them as a pair. I love him too much to let him go, but I still would like to talk to him about what the problem is. If he really is so scared, I bet it has been devouring him from the inside all these years."

"Try to be sweet to him, that will coax him out of his shell. You know he's a teddy bear at hear"

Martha's suggestion was welcomed by a big shining smile from Ianto, who tried to hide his embarrassment the best he could.

"Yeah, he is"

That said, the Welshman went upstairs, only to find Jack pouting miserably at the plain wall.

"So? Are you going?" He snapped irritably, but Ianto simply sat down next to him silently, resting his head on his shoulder.

The simple gesture made the level of Jack's fury reach the minimum, and he turned to his lover to embraced him tightly, burying his head on Ianto's shoulder.

"Sorry, I just… Don't want to lose you again."

Ianto held him back, caressing lovingly his back to reassure him.

"I just think we could help, we're experienced... I would never do something that would break us apart, but I need for us to talk if we really want to be in a real relationship."

"I don't want you to be a hero, Ianto."

"I won't play the hero alone, we'll go together."

"Just like the first time you died… What if this is some sort of karmic punishment? Giving me back who I've lost only to take him away from me again. What if everything that happens to me is meant to bring you back to life when you're dead and to kill you when you're alive!?"

"Jack, you're getting ridiculous."

Jack moved swiftly to glare at his lover, but seeing Ianto smiling warmly at him he understood that his lover hadn't said that maliciously and he simply resorted to pouting.

"We'll be fine, Jack. What if we try and help UNIT just once in a while? You and me together, in our spare time. Would you like it?"

Jack sighed and left a quick kiss on Ianto's lips, subtly glaring at him through the corner of his eyes as he stood up and walked towards the door defeated.

"C'mon, I have some excuses to make and then we'll try to make a plan… And this time we'll take our time to think about it thoughtfully, so you won't blow up."

Ianto's smile faltered a bit. "That's how I died the second time? Did I blow myself up?"

Jack simply nodded and lowered his head. "We'll build something better Ianto. Martha should know something more about that since she's been studying what happened to you for some time."

Ianto nodded and then joined Jack by the door, both of them ready for the dreaded planning session.

**TBC**


	6. Still my one and only

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first. Titles for the fiction and for its chapters are copyright by Abba, namely from the song "My love, my life".

**Warnings**: Small references to the series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Still my one and only**

The planning in itself didn't take much. Martha, once she had been reassured that they were both fine with the ultimate decision, accepted the help gladly, so all the three of them, along with Mickey, tried to sort out the entangled state of affairs.

Thanks to the hi-tech computers and Jack's knowledge, they discovered that the situation in itself wasn't a mess as big as they had initially feared, it was simply out of UNIT reach, so Jack and Ianto, thanks to their experience, could easily make quick work of the small nuisances with just a hint of hassle.

The only problems left for them were:

One- How to get inside the palace when the time was right

Two- How to put inside the breach the explosive without the rift activating itself or the bomb exploding too soon

Three- What to do while waiting for the next time-quake.

After a couple of days, the four friends decided that point three wasn't a problem anymore, since Martha and Mickey had gotten used to Jack and Ianto presence in their house and they all had found many activities to kill the time together.

Ianto's favourite hobby easily became staring at Mickey's faces when Jack decided to share with them one of his infamous tales.

The other two points, on the other hand, proved to be a bit more complicated to solve, so they only had to hope that they could find at least a way out the second before the time-quake occurred. Despite Jack's fears, the work on the bomb proceed easier than what he thought possible, but Mickey's time-quakes prediction program wasn't much safer than Toshiko's rift activity one, especially considering that he had based his codes on hers.

Unfortunately, after only some weeks of frenzied work and shenanigans, every program Mickey had put together seemed to certainly predict another quake for the following day, so they had to quicken their work on point two and hope that everything went fine with point one.

On that side of things, Martha had managed to inform the Queen about what they were planning to do without alarming UNIT, and was reassured by the old ruler that Her blessing, along with the password included in the mail containing Her answer, would help them through every door inside the Royal Residence.

Thanks to that and Mickey's maps, Jack and Ianto managed to sneak into Buckingham Palace without problems, and soon they got inside the small service room in which the young breach was barely showing itself.

It was nothing like what they had experienced with the rift: it was only an extremely tiny crack on the floor, almost completely hidden by a nearby table shadow. If they didn't know what it was, they would have thought it was just a golden thread forgotten by some maid.

There was no way for them to push anything down there, so if the time-quake didn't actually happen, things were really going to become difficult for them: hoping to get there again without alarming a single guard on their way seemed absolutely out of question.

"Jack? Are you all right?" Ianto asked, noticing his lover leaning tiredly over the wall.

"I'm fine, Ian. I'm just not sure about us doing this."

"Why?"

Ianto leaned next to him, scanning attentively his features to try and understand what could be wrong with Jack, but his lover really seemed only slightly tired. Or annoyed.

"What if the quake hits harder than what we predicted and we get swallowed by the rift before we can escape?"

"Then we'll die together, saving the Earth." Ianto answered automatically, actually describing the real facts that were about to happen more than thinking about the implications of them.

"Dying has a nice sound" Jack considered tiredly, resting his head on Ianto's. "But not yours"

"No, Jack, not _yours_. Not forever at least. You're meant to live, live for thousands years. I won't let you die here, no matter what will cost me."

"What if this ends up differently than last time? What if I'm the one dying and you survive?"

"I wouldn't want this life without you." Ianto confessed, holding Jack tightly to himself. "I already went through all that with Lisa, losing you is just not an option, especially since we are playing with time and this could really be your final."

Jack took Ianto's hand in his and squeezed it tightly, worried and happy about his lover's confession at the same time. What took them out of their reverie was a loud noise coming from the door that was being forced open.

Both of them took out their guns quickly and pointed them at the newcomers, but they soon realised that they had no real chance to get the upper hand in case they were attacked: not only they could count 10 people in front of them, but the room had no real exit other than the main door currently obstructed. The soldiers blocking their only way to the freedom were all dressed in black and back masks also covered their faces, moreover, by the noise they could heard, outside the room there were many more of them ready to get their friends back if something were to happen.

They had simply fell into a trap.

"Don't you think that attacking Buckingham Palace is a bit too much considering the security?" Jack stated coolly.

"We're authorized." The one that appeared to be the leader snapped, snorting in Jack's direction.

"We're too, so go away or this could become dangerous."

"You're authorised by the Queen, but we're authorized from the Government, or better, the ones that were in the Government when you messed up Thames House. Remember, politicians get degraded, but they never disappear."

"The Government called it upon itself! And besides that, you tried to kill all of us!"

"And we succeeded in none I see" The soldier's glare now moved to Ianto, who had been following the discussion without understanding much of it.

"Oh, no. You bloody well succeeded!" Jack argued heatedly, closing the space between himself and Ianto for good measure. "You destroyed my life once, but you won't do the same, not again! Over my forever dead body-"

"That was exactly the plan, these quakes have to stop after all." The presumed leader interrupted him, reclining slightly his head to the side. "You should have known better than use our planet for your little experiments only to get one single person back, Harkness. The world is in danger once again because of your little games!"

"My coming back was an accident happened just a few weeks ago!" Ianto butted in. "Martha said the quakes began years ago… Isn't this the truth, Jack?"

Jack tried his best to not feel hurt by the hint of doubt in Ianto's voice, but he had to admit that he had barely told the Welshman the details of the mess happened six years before or of what he had done in the meanwhile.

"Of course it was an accident! Believe me…"

Ianto nodded at him and sighed in relief, but the soldier in front of them simply laughed bitterly at the display.

"Do you really believe him? Believe the one who collaborated with the aliens that eventually killed you, giving them 10 children to exploit, and then murdered his own grandson in cold blood?"

Even though part of the facts mentioned were news to him, Ianto wasn't a lovesick puppy that couldn't understand who was the person he was with. He knew what Jack could do, especially when left alone with his decisions. He had seen that with Jasmine and Lisa, and in many other situation, and he had even decrypted the subtle confessions hidden in the few reminiscences of Jack's past he had been allowed to know. That was why Ianto simply straightened his arm, pointing his gun directly at the soldier and glaring at him with extremely cold eyes.

"Yes. I'll believe him, no matter what."

"You're a fool" The soldier said, wincing visibly.

"Why don't you call colonel Steward from UNIT?" Jack offered, now slightly more worried about Ianto's wellbeing. "I'm sure he can vouch for us. UNIT has been working on this, they can explain to you that we're only here to help."

"No one wants your help, not anymore. However that bomb should be working properly, so we'll gladly make sure that you are going to use it. You're the lowest taking advantage of a pregnant woman."

"We never took advantage of Martha! And I told you, just ask colone-"

"Colonel Steward is dead. And his granddaughter has been momentarily hindered."

"What?" Jack yelled, shocked by the news and a little sadder hearing about his friend's death. "What have you done to Kate!?"

"Nothing. She simply failed to find the Doctor, so she's been given another case. _We_ took over."

"Since when low level members of the Government have decisional power over UNIT?"

"Why do you think UNIT didn't move a finger for Thames House? When they are given orders, they tend to respect them, not like your Torchwood. Oh, and don't think you will get help from any of your friends working at UNIT: they have all been confined for safety measure."

Ianto managed to stop Jack just in time, immobilizing him where he was supposed to be before the soldiers could actually fire at them.

"What have you done to them!?" Jack barked angrily.

"They are safe. You should worry more about yourself."

"We only wanted to stop the breach before a new rift appeared" Ianto explained weakly. "We aren't even planning to create a new Torchwood!"

"Good to know since the Queen would have most likely accepted your offer to reconstruct Her little organization, but we would like to make sure you won't interfere anymore and that you'll be punished for your offences against the Government. Now, on the breach."

Jack and Ianto paled a bit but not seeing any other choice simply followed the orders and stepped backwards to the young rift. They could only hope that the crack didn't open up too soon, or considering Martha's data they would fall into it in a matter of seconds.

"Now what? Do you want to join us and play cards happily together?"

"Shut it, Harkness, now we'll wait for the quake." The soldier checked his watch and seemed to smirk at them. "Don't worry, you will die soon and together. It would be a proper and definitive Romeo and Juliet drama, not like that stupid excuse of it that was Thames House."

"To Hell with those bloody tragedies, I'm sick of them! Why can't you let me have a momentarily happily ever after? I'm not asking for much."

"High words for a killer of many."

Jack literally growled at the soldier and was about yelling again at him when the time-quake began, shaking everything around them and making the light crack beneath their feet shine and diffuse around them an ethereal kind of golden light.

With a last "See you in Hell, Harkness" the soldiers cleared the room and Jack and Ianto rushed away from the crack, hoping to be quicker than the breach, but unfortunately the light had already spread enough to cover half the room floor and their next step fell into nothing, as both of them tumbled down the golden dust of the opened rift.

Ianto had actually thought that his falling would be longer, but in truth it was surprisingly short. As he opened his eyes and looked around himself, he saw the golden light turning darker but strangely more shining below his feet and for a moment he wondered what the heck had happened.

"Ian, please, tell me you didn't faint on me" Jack's voice came to him as strained and pained, and looking above himself, he could easily understand why.

Luck had always been Jack's best friend, and once again it hadn't left him completely alone, allowing him to grasp the border of the breach with his hand at the last moment.

"Jack, it's a breach in time, the border can't resist much longer! Let me go!"

Jack huffed at him in irritation. "I guess I would have liked you better fainted then. Hear me out: try to climb up a bit, the wall in front of us seems solid."

"It's fading invisible!" Ianto protested, staring perplexed at the semi-transparent side.

"Try it for me?"

Ianto grunted at his lover's obstinacy and tried to check the consistency of the wall in front of him with the tip of his toe, surprisingly finding it more solid than what he had initially guessed. He didn't let go of Jack's hand until he was certain that there were actually enough holds to climb and then proceeded to hike the fading surface.

It didn't take it too much for Ianto to reach the floor and, as soon as his lover was safe, Jack decided it was time for him to get out of there as well.

"Are you all right?" He asked Ianto as he literally fell into his arms.

"Yeah" Ianto whispered, holding Jack tenderly. "Thanks for saving me… Still, you might only have bought me a little more time…"

His sad eyes turned to the door. "Do you think we can force it open?"

Jack got on his feet and tapped some buttons on his Vortex Manipulator, but the confused expression he was sporting didn't make Ianto any happier.

"They must have a foreign controller for it. Every time I'm about to unlock it, they reset everything." Jack's and Ianto's eyes met, both fearing the same thing. "What about the bomb?"

Ianto reached for the small package inside his jacket and stared at it with a blank expression on his face.

"They activated it... It's ticking. We've five minutes left."

"We need to stop the timer"

"No. We don't." Ianto told him seriously. "If the breach doesn't blow up now, there will be a permanent rift inside the Royal Palace. It's a place too obvious to control in order to hide what's happening… I'm sorry, everything is my fault…"

Jack held Ianto tight and kissed the top of his head as the Welshman tried his best to keep the frenzied beating of his heart in check. "It's not your fault Ian, it's the Government… It was its fault even the first time you died, that's why I didn't want to tell you the details of your deaths. There's always something above us even when we're supposed to be outside the Government and beyond the Police."

"Jack, what about your VM? Did you have it fixed?"

The hold around Ianto tightened even more. "I fixed it, but I can't use it with you."

Ianto changed their position a bit to stare up at his lover confused. "Why?"

Jack took a deep breath. "I'm not leaving you here alone to explode with the rift again, and I don't think you would want to use it if you knew the consequences."

Ianto crooked an eyebrow inquisitively. "What consequences?"

"Martha said that you've got some residue time vortex around yourself and using my VM would fix it inside you. She didn't explain how, but she was pretty sure of it… it had something to do with de-atomization and recomposing of the body after transportation probably."

"Fix the vortex inside me… You mean I will become immortal like you." Jack nodded and Ianto paled. "And I have five- no four minutes and thirty seconds to decide."

Jack took Ianto's hands in his and caressed them lightly. "I would like to ask you… What would help you deciding for immortality?"

"You don't need to say anything Jack." Ianto told him, bringing their joined hands closer to his heart. "Just the thought of leaving you alone again is enough... But I'm still dubious…"

"Why?"

"What if things don't work out well for us? What if this isn't meant to be and we crush timelines once again?"

"Are these really the only things that bother you?" Jack asked astounded. "You will see everyone's death, someone may even want to experiment on you… Eventually everything will be so much to bear and you will hate me…"

"Something like that will never happen." Ianto reassured him, offering his lover a small smile. "I'll always have you by my side, I'll always have a shoulder to cry on. I doubt my love for you will ever fade or that I'll ever regret it."

"It's the same for me, Ianto... All this time without you taught me that much."

"So" Ianto said, trembling slightly. "Can you take me away now?"

"There's nothing I wish more than this, but… Are you _really_ sure?"

Ianto swallowed and then nodded, still looking all but sure. "I-I really can't think about doing the wrong choice again. I want to spare you being left alone forever… If you will have me?"

Jack tightened his hug around Ianto and kissed him chastely on his lips. "Of course I will"

"Won't I bother you?"

"Well, up until now you've just helped me actually…"

"What if I'm just scared to die?" Ianto asked out of the blue, making Jack chuckle.

"Well, then you could teach me" He felt his lover finally less tense in his arms, so he took a big breath and prepared for his own little confession. "Will… will make you feel less nervous about becoming immortal knowing that I might be pregnant?"

Ianto felt a smirk tugging at his lips, but he couldn't do much to stop himself from laughing openly at his lover, who looked at him not exactly knowing what to think about Ianto's reaction.

"Jack, you know, you don't need to make up excuses to make me wish to live on with you, I already said yes. Thanks for joke though, it made the last bit of tension go away."

"I'm glad it did, but I wasn't joking."

Ianto froze in Jack's arms and fixed his eyes wide on him. "Are you sure?"

"Of course not." He argued. "That's the general meaning of _might_."

"Oh, my God." Ianto leaned in Jacks embrace and rested tiredly his forehead on his lover's shoulder.

They stood like that for some time, while the ticking of the timer kept going on and on, making Jack both restless and resigned. He caressed lightly Ianto's shoulder and prepared himself to follow his lover inside the darkness of the death in case he had changed his mind after his admission.

All of sudden he heard a loud _tonf_ and he realised soon that it was the bomb. Ianto purposefully kicked it inside the breach, letting Jack see how they had just a bunch of seconds before everything blew up. Ianto tightened his hold around his lover's waist and with a bit of voice told him "Bring me home"

"Even though I'm pregnant?"

Ianto looked up at Jack, exasperation n clear in his eyes.

"Are you nuts?! That could only make me to wish for immortality even more!" He took Jack's face between his hands and stared closely in Jack's eyes. "And if you're not pregnant already, we'll make a baby on purpose one day. I love you, Jack: immortal or not, 21st century or 51st century, pregnant or not, Torchwood or not… My love for you will always be core of my life."

Ianto kissed Jack, and the captain didn't even need to look at his VM before finally pressing the button that would bring them to safety as the timer blipping faded along with the outlines of bomb and the breach exploded along with the whole room that contained it.

As the service room was being destroyed, Jack and Ianto reappeared in a dark room, not quite where Jack had meant to go. They were still holding tightly on one another while they checked themselves for injuries, when a diplomatic cough lead their attention to an old woman watching them.

"Ha….uhmm… Well…"

"Mister Harkness, it's a pleasure meeting you again. However, I will make clear that the current circumstances quite surprise me."

"Well, we just… We had a little incident with the Government, Milady."

"You keep having many of them, I noticed."

"It's not really our choice"

"May I have the pleasure of meeting you shocked colleague?"

As Jack turned to his lover, he saw how the young Welshman actually was the clear picture of disbelief: wide eyes, opened mouth and everything else that went with those.

"She's… She's…" Ianto muttered eventually. "The Queen?"

"Well, yes." Jack said plainly, amused by Ianto's reaction. "Queen Elisabeth, he's my boyfriend, Ianto Jones. Ian? Meet your Queen."

Those words made Ianto snort at his lover, whilst the Queen simply smiled indulgently at them. "Pleased to meet you Ianto Jones, and thanks for your constant help. May I do something for you?"

"What about the independency of Wales?"

The Queen's smile didn't falter as she stated a clear "Denied", making Ianto shrug resignedly.

Jack stared disapprovingly at him, but the Welshman didn't pay him much attention.

"I _had_ to try."

"Well, I would actually like a payment if that's possible, a more manageable one."

The Queen stared surprised at Jack. "Unusual. What would it be?"

"We would simply like to be allowed living our lives as civilians without any official bother."

"I'd be pleased to grant you what you are asking for, but I won't deny that it will be a pity losing your help now that you're finally back on Earth."

"You won't lose it. If you need help Martha will know where we are and we'll help gladly though her. Ianto might even want to be in constant contact with UNIT offering them consultancies."

Both the Queen and Ianto stared surprised at Jack.

"I fear I'm not understanding, Mister Harkness."

"I'm asking to not make saving the world our job. I don't want orders or rules, organizations or encrypted information. We'll be here when you need us, but just that. We'll physically be involved only when there will be extreme emergencies. I want a clear record, everything related to us at any level has to disappear."

"Part-time consultants for who knows where to search for then."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Fine. Conceded."

"Thanks, Jack" Ianto told him, having no qualms kissing him right on the lips in front of the Queen herself.

They took some time to explain the Queen how it had been possible for Ianto to be there and who had tried to interfere with their plan, but after that Jack redirected his VM coordinates to Martha's house and simply they said they goodbyes to the old sovereign.

"What will you do as a job if not Torchwood then?" She asked, feeling slightly sad seeing Her most trusted man go away, bringing with himself her hope of rebuilding Torchwood Three.

Jack smirked at Her and got ready to punch the button to activate the transportation.

"We'll work to help bringing this century to the future like we've always done"

That said he activated his VM and they disappeared together into thin air.

***One year after***

Rhiannon was staring delighted at her little brother, who was feeding his son not far from the bench she was sitting on. The day was bright and warm: the perfect weather for a family trip to the park. Pity was that her son and daughter now felt too old for this kind of things and that her husband had preferred watching his favourite team on TV.

Still she had come gladly and was enjoying every second of the family afternoon.

When one year before she had seen her supposedly dead brother at her threshold, she had needed lots of smelly salts and cold water before getting back to her senses, but now she had gotten used once again at the idea of her beloved Ianto being back to the livings for possibly forever, as well as having a brother-in-law that could conceive and give birth to children.

She had been angry with both of them at the beginning for throwing everything at her all at the same time, and even more when they had honestly told her that before meeting her, they had gone saving the world once again.

However, after she'd had enough time to calm down and elaborate everything, she had been delighted to welcome back her brother, meet his boyfriend and, more than anything, raid every shop for kids in the neighbourhood, in order to do her duty as an aunt properly.

"Thanks for giving him back to me, Jack. When my friend told me she'd seen him with you, I'd lost any hope to see him with a family, and then, after London, I'd lost any hope to see him again at all."

"Everything happened by chance, Rhiannon. Really, you shouldn't thank me."

"I'm not thanking you for bringing him back to life, but for bringing him back to his family. I know my brother too well to understand that he thinks that we would all be better off without him." She turned to stare at Jack, sitting next to her. "Thanks."

Jack smiled at her and then moved his gaze again to his lover and his son. His family.

"I can't deny that it will hurt him when he'll outlive everyone he knows, but running away would not be the best solution."

"You're wise" She teased, and Jack laughed at her words.

"No, just plenty of experience."

Ianto in the meanwhile had finished his feeding duty and, having successfully managed to get the child asleep, joined his sister and husband.

"Mission accomplished." He proclaimed, sitting next to Jack and kissing him on the cheek. "Unfortunately we'll have to get back soon, Martha is sending me some samples from London to analyze."

"You know, you can be a nerd sometimes." Jack complained. "You seem almost happy about it."

"Research was my job at One, and I never really stopped doing that, not even at Three. Of course I like it."

"Why don't you go to London? Wouldn't it be more practical if the UNIT base is there?" Rhiannon wondered.

"No way!" Jack argued. "London is bad news, we'll risk having the Police highlights on us. We can't let the Government and UNIT get us, especially not now with a baby."

Jack's mobile chose that moment to blip and, as he checked his messages, his grin got wider by the second. "My new ship has finally come! They parked it behind the moon, I need to get the equipment from home and then go check my new little jewel."

"Another one?" Ianto asked annoyed. "You have already two spaceships."

"Yep, but this one is even better. I can finally start the tours to the Medusa Cascade!"

"You should call Gwen then, she wanted to see it."

"I already did it! She will be the first one to enjoy the Face of Boe's Medusa Space Tour!"

"Oh my Gosh, poor darling" Rhiannon sighed, caressing the spare bits of hair over her nephew head. "Your mam is a real businessman."

"And you're saying this before you heard him blabbering about acquiring some special shield to organize tours to see the explosions of dying stars and planets." Ianto drawled.

"Hey the idea is fabulous. It could bring us lots of money, especially from scientists, curious people and rich aliens."

"Oh, yeah, and what about alien threats? What if you put two different alien races that you forgot are enemies? Your memory isn't something I'd like to test on this."

"I'll… invent something to make everyone feel at ease" Jack said, visibly not finding any idea on the matter.

"Everyone at ease?" Rhiannon asked. "Our mam used to say that some people would be at ease only if there was an eternal Christmas."

"Christmas? Of course!" Jack beamed. "Rhiannon, you're a genius!"

Both siblings stared shocked at each other and then at Jack, who stood up and got ready to explain his triumphal plan.

"I'll make everyone exchange gifts as soon as they come aboard and meet the others! I'll make some big presentation ceremony too! Who doesn't like pompous ceremonies?!"

"_That_ will save your ship from combustion." Ianto deadpanned with more than a hint of mistrust.

"Why? That's a great idea!"

"Of course, my love." He teased, standing up slowly to not wake up the sleeping child in his arms. "Rhiannon, I'll ring you soon, we've better go."

"I won't be waitin', then. Just try to let me know if you're still around before the kid turns eighteen."

Both Jack and Ianto laughed at the joke, and then they bid her goodbye as they tried to set their son in his stroller without waking him up.

When they had defeated the infernal instrument, they were finally ready to go. They walked in silence to their car until Jack decided that he had enough of 'being proper' and took a firm hold of Ianto's waist, making him swing a bit.

"Oi, what's this all of sudden?"

"Nothing, I'm just showing you how glad I am that you decided to give us a chance. I wouldn't know what to do alone with a small child looking just like you like this one."

Ianto relaxed in Jack's embrace and encircled his lover's waist with his arm too. "I'm glad too. You know, I do realize what meant for you immortality, but no matter what, I wouldn't exchange what we have now for anything else."

"Well, remember that I still own you a honeymoon. With everything that came with the kid and then the business barely starting, we never really managed to have one."

"Oh, and where were you planning to go?" Ianto asked curiously, bringing their lips only few inches together.

"You will see it when the time is right, my love. We have forever to get there. Forever and happily ever after."

Jack closed the few inches left between their lips and kissed Ianto, glad that he could savour him again after all those years alone that still bugged his dreams.

A fable-like ending might even be cheesy and cliché, but Jack had always considered himself a big kid, so he really couldn't wish for anything better.

***My love My life - The End***


End file.
